Shattered Spirits
by Soccermustang
Summary: Hate turns to Love kind of story. Summary inside. Changed Category
1. Summary

Shattered Spirits

By: Nicolette Looks/Soccermustang

Kevin Dershato's entire life revolved around the family horses. Working all day with the animals that take up his life can sometimes create a stressful environment. As most people would, he takes his anger and frustration out on those who board their horses at the Dershato Ranch including one specific person who is Lauren Scott. From the moment they met it has always been a raging war that grew every time they were together. Only one person in Kevin's life can truly see the pain and unhealthiness of this situation. One person who decides that Kevin is too young to be such a grumpy self centered person and takes matters into his own hands. Coming from a very spiritual Native American family Wahkan wants to inspire Kevin to be more open to friendship between other people and especially to the horses in which he hates so much. When Lauren's only friend, her dear horse, is injured and immediately put down Wahkan also fears for her life. When one day a critical fall from a tall cliff on horseback sends Kevin to his deathbed mysterious things occur during his experience. A fall that had killed the horse and should have taken his own life did not make sense when he woke up to see his horse grazing beside him and a Native American man chanting words of wisdom above him. With several minutes of searing pain he falls unconscious only to wake up to no one around. As he stands to his feet he notices changes, he stood on four legs, he could see his long nose in front of him and he was completely transformed. Kevin has to learn a new way of life through the eyes of a horse as he learns to work with his new owner, Lauren Scott. When faced with the new partnership it goes rather well for Kevin as he begins to fall for her and learns new stories of her past. He learns that today there are still people out there that haunt her, and now Kevin must find ways to keep her safe while trying to figure out how to become a human again.


	2. Life on the Ranch

**1/1/09: Chapter 1 as been almost completely redone.** **I removed alot of unnesecary content that I thought I might use later on but that has changed. So hope this version is better.**

Chapter 1: Life On the Ranch

Distant whinnies wake me from my sleep. The morning sun has only begun to peak through my window. I know that most likely mom is downstairs making breakfast for the family. I open my eyes slightly so I can peak out my window into the sunlight. I groaned when I realized there was another day of hardship ahead of me.

"Stupid animals," I mumbled to myself.

My entire life I have lived on this farm and still nothing has changed. Wake up early on Saturday morning and get right to work on the stupid beasts while every other normal human being is still sleeping comfortably in their bed. I hate living on this ranch. Every day brought me closer to depression. Alright so I may be exaggerating a little but I still can't stand living my life like this. Day in and day out I am forced to work with horses who have problems with people. I can't lie, the money people are willing to pay here in Colorado for horse training is pretty amazing.

"Kevin! Breakfast!" My mom shouted like she did every Saturday morning before we went out to begin training with the horses.

My dad always wakes up nearly two hours before me to go and feed the animals and give them their turnouts. I helped my dad, along with my brother Brad, train the horses for other people who are too lazy or scared to do it themselves. There are times when we are risking our lives for these people's horses. Having a successful career here at the Dershato Ranch we have several horses put on a waiting list to be trained. Even with as much success as our ranch may have I still am unable to see the benefits that come with this job. We make squat, well actually I make squat. My dad is the one who thinks he deserves the bigger share of the money we earned and since my brother is his saint he too receives a better wage than I do. I work every day and all day including school nights. I have to deal with annoying people from other families who come to visit their horses that they board here to be trained.

"Get your ass out of bed," my stupid brother burst through my door which had now fully waken me up. He was gone within a couple seconds so I had no time to retaliate.

I slowly threw away my covers and stumbled to my dresser for jeans and an old T-shirt. Once I changed I left my room without making my bed and headed down to the kitchen. I know I will have to deal with the wrath from my mother when she peaks into my messy room. I do not see the purpose of making my bed when I will be sleeping in it again in twelve hours. When I reached the kitchen I found my parents eating along with my brother.

"Morning Sunshine. How about you try waking your lazy ass up by yourself sometime." The sarcasm in my father's voice irritated me deeply. "You are almost eighteen, don't you think you need to grow up a little Kev?" I ignored my father's life lesson speech and sat down at the table.

"Knock it off Howard, he is doing fine." My mom always tried to defend me.

My mother is the only other person in my family to see how my father favor's Brad over me. I don't see how his comparisons are even fair for me. Brad is almost twenty one and he still hangs around here to help my dad. Unlike me Brad wants a future with horses. When I hit graduation day I'm out of here.

I dug into some eggs and finished my breakfast quietly as my parents conversed about recent horses that have come to the ranch. There were some horses that we board but we mainly only accept horses who need training. The few people that board their horses here are people who found our ranch before we had received a good title for horse training. About three years ago my dad was desperate for money to keep the ranch going. He took any option we could get which of course including housing some horses here for a good cost. Since we have a decent size outdoor arena along with a round pen it wasn't hard to find people who wanted to leave their horses with us. First, there is the Markenson's family who have an extremely annoying nine year old daughter. That little snot gets whatever she wants from her parents. Next, there is the Datesar couple owns three horses here. There is the Native American who is named Wahkan. That guy scares the hell out of me, he is a very spiritual man and believes that the horses are a big part of the circle of life or whatever the heck that is. Lastly, there is Lauren Scott.

Lauren shares a couple classes with me in school and anytime I am around her she always tends to pick a fight with me. She transferred here to Colorado from a small town in Michigan about two years ago. Apparently she sweet talked my dad into letting her board her stupid prissy Arabian horse here. By the time she had gotten here we were patiently waiting for the boarder's to leave. My family always talks about how sweet and nice she is but it disgusts me. Ever since she started boarding her horse here we haven't stopped arguing. It all started with her trying to critique my riding. There isn't anyway some small town girl who started working with horses late in her teens is going to critique me. I have been working with horses my entire life and I am a far better rider that she is. I haven't lived these crappy seventeen years with horses to be critiqued by someone like her. We had gotten into a big argument that day and ever since then we have been mortal enemies.

I finished what was left of my breakfast and headed out before anyone else. I always take a trail ride every morning before I start any training with the other horses. I take my buckskin mustang that we had gotten from the BLM in Nevada about four years ago. My dad thought it would be cool to train a couple of wild mustangs. He ended up selling the other two we bought but I wanted to keep mine. I had worked my butt off to train my horse and I intended on keeping him. Plus, I hate the stupid Quarter Horses that my dad is into. I am more into thoroughbreds or any other of the larger tough breeds. I named him Aries and he has grown to be about sixteen hands. The taller the better in my opinion.

The thing I hate about him is that he isn't as tough as he's supposed to be. For crying out loud he is a gosh darn mustang, he used to run wild as a stallion and now he is at the bottom of the line with the other horses here. He's always pushed around so he has scrapes all over which makes him look ugly. Maybe I shouldn't have gelded him and he wouldn't be such a coward.

I grabbed his halter from the barn and headed out to grab him. As usual he stood a good eight feet away from the herd of geldings. The mares stood in the pasture on the other side of the barn. We only have a few stallions and they have their own paddocks.

"Maybe if you'd grow some balls and start kickin' them around they'd let you eat." I clipped the halter around his head and lead him away from the herd.

Jackson who is my dad's black quarter horse swung his head at my horse glaring his teeth. Aries swung his hind legs away from the teeth but at the same time thrust his front hooves to where I was standing.

"Get off! You stupid horse, man up." I slapped him on the neck and glared back at Jackson. He already went back to eating his hay. "I really hate that horse."

"Horses need rewards as well as they do punishment." I jumped at the sound of Wahkan's voice that came from nowhere. He stood a good distance from the herd of horses and called for his horse. Immediately the horse raised his head and freely walked to his master. He looked back up at me.

"I've got my own methods of training Wally, and you've got yours," I started walking to the gate again with my horse trailing.

Wally acquired his nickname not long after he got here. Not many people in the family could properly remember his full name so we graduated to the name Wally. He didn't seem to mind but if it was me I wouldn't have aloud it.

I threw the saddle on Aries once we got to the barn without grooming him. I never groomed him. Waste of time in my opinion, it's more time that could be spent riding. I used the western tack for trail rides even though I am a master in the English saddle. I am trying to train Aries for jumping but he's too dumb to do it. Every ground pole he sees he ends up shying away from it.

"Alright lets go," I finished bridling Aries and led him out of the barn. Just as I started walking out I noticed a car driving in. As soon as it stopped I snared as my least favorite person stepped out, Lauren. She walked towards me, or should I say she was really walking towards the barn.

"Hello Kevin," her greeting sounded extremely depressed. I know she doesn't like me and I hate talking to her, yet she tries conversing with me anyway.

"Laura." I nodded and tried to hold back from laughing when she gave me an extremely pissed off expression at the shortened name. I threw my hands up and acted innocent. "Sorry officer, please don't claw my eyes out. Use the gun it may be more affective."

"Oh would you just grow the hell up." She started walking to the barn again.

"You sound like my father."

"Good, maybe you should listen to him. He's a smart guy."

"Naw, I hate him too."

She ignored me so I turned and mounted Aries. For some unknown reason my conscious caught up to me for a second and I could feel guilt take over my body. I turned to look for Lauren but she was already in the pasture grabbing her mare. I do have to admit her grey Arabian is a beauty. I believe her name is Suri. Dumb name for a horse but what can I do? As quickly as the guilt came it was gone in a second and I turned back around.

"Alright Aries, let's go for a long one. I'm gonna' need it." I kicked my horse into a canter. I let out a sigh as I realized today was going to be an extremely long day.


	3. Put Down

**I got this done a lot quicker than I thought. A little gory here so be prepared, not too bad though. Just sad.**

Chapter 2: Put Down

I returned from my ride with Aries panting underneath me. I noticed Lauren was just getting ready to mount Suri. As soon as I reached the barn I dismounted and started untacking Aries.

"Your going to put him back with cooling him out?" Here we go again, Laura's irritating advice. She should have known by now that it was that crap that created the hatred between us in the first place.

"He's cool enough."

"He's panting and sweating like a dog!"

"He's alive now isn't he? He has been doing just fine his entire life like this."

"You won't be saying that when he's on his back because his good for nothing owner can't take five minutes to properly cool out his horse."

"You know what Laura..."

"Lauren!"

"Laura! I don't tell you how to train your camel so don't tell me how to train my horse! Thats always been your problem from day one, you think you know everything."

"Oh my gosh I simply stated that you were pulling too hard on his mouth and it looked like it was upsetting the horse."

"Yeah maybe you should've kept it to yourself."

"Your such an ass."

"And you're a..." Footsteps approached from behind me and I turned to see my father.

"Everything alright here?"

"Yeah, we're fine Howie." She told him quietly.

I turned away from them and walked Aries back to his pasture. It was only eleven in the morning and this day already sucked.

"Why can't you get along with her?" I jumped at the sound of my father's voice that came from behind me.

"Why can't you stay out of my life? I don't like her and we had an argument. You can't make me get along with everyone."

"She's going through a lot right now."

"Oh yeah? What exactly is she going through dad?"

"I don't know I can just tell that..." He looked as he was thinking hard, almost regretting his suspicions. "I don't know, I just think that something is going on right now."

"Why the heck would you think that? She's a snob for crying out loud."

"To you. She likes us. She always acts nervous around me and I think.. Well I think she may be abused." I almost had to chuckle. There were a lot of things about Lauren Scott but one thing was for sure, she was not abused. She wears shorts and T-shirts to school, she's got nothing to hide.

"Dad, she's not. I know it."

"Well," His relief came as a shocker to me. I didn't think my opinion on that would really have that great of an affect on him. "I still don't think something's right."

"Thats great dad," I was sick of talking about her. "I'm gonna go work with the horses."

"Nope, I want you mucking today."

"What!? Why?"

"They need to be cleaned and it's your turn so go and do it."

Without giving me any time to argue, he turned away from me and walked towards the gelding's pasture. I cursed under my breath and turned to grab a pitch fork. We only had two stallions on the ranch and they stood in the paddock all day and only at night were they in the stalls. We had six stalls for the boarders who baby their horses.

I worked for almost a hour when Laura came in the barn. She must haven't realized I was there cause I heard her talking to her horse as if she was talking to her best friend.

"I promise I'll be back tomorrow." Great another day of dealing with her.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around as much Suri, problems at home." So dad was right, something has been going on.

"Whats wrong at home Laura?" It was then that I realized that she definitely did not know I was here cause she turned in shock and I could tell by the red face that she was extremely embarrassed.

"It's none of your business!"

"You'll talk to your horse about your problems but not a person?"

"No I just don't talk to you about my problems." She turned to leave but I had to make sure of one thing.

"Wait." She stopped and looked at me. She looked just as surprised that she listened to me as I was. "Your parents... they don't... they don't hurt you do they?"

"What?" Ok definitely not abuse. "You think... Oh my gosh no! Just stay out of it ok!"

"Alright fine, sheesh."

She turned away and led her horse to her pasture. I continued to my work and ignored everything else. After a while I heard my dad say good bye to Laura and then she drove away in her car. The rest of the day dragged on as usual. Wahkan left a while after Laura. After I finished mucking I started training for other people. The annoying seven year old came with her family which only further annoyed me.

It was getting close to eight at night when my mom called for dinner. I was leading a mare I had just finished with to its pasture. I looked down most of the time so I didn't see the panicked horse galloping throughout the pasture. I opened the gate to let her in but as soon as I opened it I almost got trampled by the other horse. The stupid thing hit the gate open and pushed me out of the way. I hurried the mare I was holding onto through the gate and shut it. I turned to find the escaped mare. Of course the horse was none other than Suri, just as thick headed as it's owner.

"Dad! Bradley! Get out here!" The two came running out of the house with horror in their eyes. I could see that the horse had already done some damage to her leg when she hit the gate cause it limped slightly as it trotted through the yard. I don't know what spooked her out of the pasture but she was terrified right now. "Keep her away from the rode!"

As soon as I spoke the words the horse tried to bolt across the road. I noticed a truck on its way. My heart was beating madly inside me. By seconds the horse crossed the road before the truck with squealing tires skidded around it. The horse was on the other side of the road but at least now it had a huge field with the road on one side. We started to walk towards the horse but once we got close to the road the horse turned to come back across realizing that the safety lies with the humans. I never saw it coming and it happened so fast. A car slammed its break moments to late. All I could hear was the painful screams of the horse trying to crawl across the street after the vehicle slammed into her.

Watching the horse, bleeding, trying to escape the road left a disturbed feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I didn't see it coming!" The driver was out of his car and full of concern.

"Sir could you help us get her off the road? Kevin go call Lauren."

"What?" My dad looked at me with hurt eyes.

"You know you have to call her." I felt myself shaking and I turned towards the house. I took the phone and flipped through our boarding book to find her number. What was I going to say? I just killed your horse cause I couldn't notice she was bolting in the pasture? I felt tears at the edge of my eyes as I dialed her number. The hatred that I had felt for her had no affect on me now. Right now I worried for her.

"Hello?"

"Laura?" The shortened name came so easy for me now and I really hadn't meant disrespect at this moment.

"Uh, what do you want Kevin?"

"Umm, could you... come over. Your horse... She got out and umm, look I'll explain when you get here but she's, she's dying." For several seconds she did not respond.

"What?" She barely choked out.

"Please. Just get over here. I can come get you if you need?"

"No just... I'll be over in a sec." I could hear her voice cracking and I knew that she was crying.

I walked back outside and Suri was now on the grass with a lot more blood than before. In no time Laura was speeding into our driveway and she jumped out. She ran to her horse with tears already streamed down her face.

"Oh God! Suri! What, what happened?!" She huddled close to her horse.

"She tried trampling me and got out." I didn't mean for it to sound sarcastic but apparently it did.

"You! You let this happen?"

"I didn't..."

"Kevin." My dad looked at me with both angry and sad eyes. "Go get the gun."

"What?! I can't save her?" She begged now, to whom I did not know.

"No sweetheart. She's broken bad. I do need your permission though. You know what needs to be done." She looked at the ground and slightly nodded.

Before I could look at everyone's pained looks I started towards the house. I walked to the cabinet that held our rifles. I unlocked it and removed a gun and its ammo. I returned to my father and went to hand him the gun but he shook his head.

"Your problem. I told you your laziness would hurt someone, figures its her."

"Dad I didn't..."

"Come on Lauren, you don't want to end this way."

They all left me with the gun. I stared at the horse suffering on the ground. The man left in his car and the more minutes passed only gave her more pain. I loaded the gun. The once grey body of the horse was soaked in red. There was nothing left in her future than pain and death.

"I'm sorry Suri."

_Bang._


	4. A Storm is Coming

Chapter 3: A Storm is Coming

It's been three days without Laura coming to the ranch. I packed a lunch for school and headed out to my truck. Yesterday I did not see her at school either. I don't think she had too many friends and three days ago I killed her best friend. I can't stop thinking about it and part of me is angry with her. It's like she wants me to suffer. An accident gets blamed on me for being careless.

I got to school with only a couple minutes to get to class. I noticed a familiar truck in the parking lot, Laura was back. I didn't bother hurrying to class cause I knew she would be there and she would most likely confront me. I took a tardy when I got to class. I walked into class two minutes late and immediately my eyes strode to Laura's seat. Sure enough she was there, but thankfully she looked down at her books.

"Mr. Dershato is there a reason your late?" My teacher was one of the several who really got on my nerves.

"Just runnin' late."

"As always."

I made my way to my seat ignoring the stares from the classmates. I sat a couple seats away from Laura and every second I spent this close to her made me more guilty. I hated myself for feeling this way. I hated this girl, and yet I felt sorry for her. The hour dragged on and I waited for the clock to reach the end of the class. Finally the bell rang and everybody began hurrying their stuff in their bags.

"Laura, can I talk to you a second?" I had to talk to her. If I didn't at least try then I would feel like crap the rest of my life. I was next to her now and she just looked at me waiting for me to respond. "Look I am sorry alright. I didn't mean..."

"Kevin, I don't want to hear it. I know you don't feel that way so I don't want to hear your crap." She started to leave but I grabbed her hand.

"Hang on a second! I am not lying to you, I did not mean to hurt her." She looked at me with fear. It was then I noticed how hard I was holding her hand. I loosened my grip but still held on to it. "Sorry, you should know that no person would want to hurt someone this bad. I didn't mean for it to happen."

"I've heard that before." She ripped her hand away and nearly ran out of the room. What did she mean she's heard that before? Her attitude infuriated me, I try to apologize and she won't accept it.

The rest of the day dragged on as I had thought it would. Luckily I only had one more class with her and she ignored me completely. When school ended I made my way home slowly. I wanted to be alone right now and the car ride eased my mood a little. I planned on taking a long trail ride when I got home. I didn't care about chores, I would be able to sneak Aries out fast enough when my dad and brother are busy getting our hay for the week. They had told me yesterday that they would be gone when I got home.

When I pulled into our driveway I noticed Wally's old truck sitting there. I parked my truck and immediately went to the barn. My mom caught me when I walked past the house.

"Kev could you help me in here?"

"I'm going on a trail ride."

"Kevin your father needs you when he gets home."

"I really don't give a crap mom! Leave me alone."

"Kev I know your upset right now but you need to calm down. I really need your help." She was following me now and it was really irritating me.

"Mom I don't want to deal with anyone today. I want to go on a long trail ride, I need to think to myself right now." She only stared at me with worry in her eyes. I turned to the pasture and left her standing there.

"Kevin please don't do anything stupid." I ignored her. What the hell did she think I was going to do?

I had gotten Aries and began tacking him up when I heard my mom coming behind me.

"Mom please just leave me alone."

"She only worries about you son. You should talk to her." I turned to see Wally staring at me. Great, another preacher.

"Wally please just stay out of it. You weren't here you don't know what happen." I turned back to continue saddling Aries.

"I know it wasn't your fault and it is unhealthy for you to be acting this way."

"Thats great."

"You need to talk to them. Resolve this."

"Wally I cant. They won't listen to me, I already tried."

"Your not trying hard enough, your being too stubborn and it is going to get you hurt."

"Thanks for your concern but I don't need it. I am a loner, I can handle getting the hell out of here by next year and living alone for the rest of my life."

"I know you don't mean that."

"You don't know anything."

"What about Aries?" What the heck was he trying to get at? He started to irritate me.

"What about him?"

"The bond between a human and horse can be one of the greatest I have ever seen. It's been a sacred bond between man and horse for many years. Your willing to leave him behind? He looks to you as his leader and he needs that bond."

"He'll do absolutely fine without me. I hate horses anyway."

"You may hate horses but I know you love him. He is the only true friend you have."

"I have plenty of friends."

"None as great as him though." I was getting sick of him now and I had finished saddling Aries.

"Wally just please leave me alone."

"Be carful out there. A storm is headed this way."

"I've ridden through storms before." He only nodded and then thankfully turned away.

I mounted my horse and looked to the sky. I could see the dark clouds moving in and thunder rolled miles away. Aries did not stir beneath me so I figured he would be ok. I kicked him into a trot and headed towards the woods. The storm closed in faster.


	5. The Fall

**I am changing the title, i really don't like what I had so I think it is going to be Shattered Spirits but It is not set so it could change again.**

Chapter 4: The Fall

I steered Aries around trees as we cantered off the trail. For several months I had explored the forest that was in our backyard. I had a place all to myself that over looked fields of other farmers and you could see the mountains in the background. I called it Kevin's Cliff for the fact that there was a deep drop from where I would stand. I never took Aries to close to the edge, I knew he was too dumb to know better to stay away. The best thing about my cliff was it was almost three miles away from home. No one knew this cliff existed except me.

I slowed Aries to a walk when we came close to our destination. It was then that I swear I heard distant hoof beats behind me. When I turned around I couldn't find any trace of anything besides me and Aries. I tried shaking the thoughts out of my head but for some reason I had the greatest feeling that someone was watching me.

I walked Aries along a path that I made a while ago. We were still about a half mile away from my cliff but I thought I should save Aries in case I had to gallop home because of the storm. The more and more I tried shaking away the feeling of someone watching me the more I believed that there was someone following me. Every time I looked back I still could find nothing. Maybe I really am going crazy. I have been going through so much crap lately I wouldn't doubt that mental loss would be a possibility.

When we reached the cliff I felt much more at ease. I let out a deep sigh when I saw the beauty of the sun barely peaking out of the clouds far away over the mountains. I dismounted and motioned for Aries to stay. I had to admit, the horse may suck at jumping but he sure was an amazing trail horse. I walked close to the edge and peered down below. I couldn't tell exactly how deep the canyon was but I knew it would be enough to kill a man.

As I did every time I came out here, I sat on the ledge with my legs dangling from the cliff. The wind blew against my face and I could smell the storm that was headed towards us. I didn't worry about it much. I've ridden in storms before and Aries acts fine. Plus if it got too bad I had found a shelter near this area. It's surrounded by several trees and rocks also blocked the wind. Whenever it would rain, the place stayed dry.

Aries nickered softly behind me. I had almost forgotten he was here. I turned to face him with my legs curled. I remembered how Laura talked to her horse and that Wally told me he was my greatest friend. As I looked at him it made me wonder why he took as much crap from me as he did.

"What do you think Aries? You think I meant to get Suri killed too?" He moved his head and looked behind him. Yeah great friend Wally, he doesn't even listen. "You can't already want to go home, we just got here."

He blew through his lips and yawned. I chuckled slightly.

"Alright let's go."

I stood up and walked over to him. I pet his neck and walked to the side to mount. I got up and looked back towards the mountain. I could no longer see the sun and the wind had picked up quite a bit. I heard a loud crackle come from behind us from something heavy stepping on a branch. It scared me but not as bad as it scared Aries. He bolted sideways away from the noise.

"Aries no!" My heart thumped loudly inside me. He stopped and stared with ears perked towards the woods. I looked down to see the deep canyon below us. The fear that had controlled my body was transferring to Aries. He stood only a couple inches away from the canyon drop.

"Come on Aries, let's go." I kicked him so slightly I didn't think it would've done much but in his trance the slightest touch scorched his body. He tried backing up and then through his legs into the deep canyon. All I could feel was us falling. My stomach burned and my voice was no where to be found. I heard no noises, I felt no wind blazing against my skin. I felt the painful emotions of death surrounding me until I felt the pain of the rock ground strike my body.

My eyes were closed shut, there was no sounds, no whinny from Aries, no screams from me. I could barely open my eyes and it hurt my head when I did. I couldn't move, I looked at my jeans that were stained red. The pain I felt in my legs told me they were both broken. I knew judged on the amount of blood that most likely the bones have broken the skin. I could still use my right arm and I reached with my hand to my head. I felt the warm moisture of blood as I traced my skull. I was going to die, I could definitely feel that. I looked for Aries when I found him the moisture built up in my eyes.

"Aries?" I choked out for my horse. He laid motionless, completely motionless. His body was stiff as a dead horse's body was. He was already gone. It was then that I heard a whinny, not from Aries but from above. I tried to gather enough strength to look up at the cliff. Before losing myself I could see the blackness of a horse and rider staring down at us. The darkness hovered over me, the wind died down. I slowly closed my eyes, ready for my deep sleep. "I'm sorry Aries."


	6. Pain

**I made a cover for this story which is posted on my deviant art account and you can see it by going here dev iant art.c om/art/Shattered-Spirits-Cover-104614830** **Just make sure to remove the spaces**

Chapter 5: Pain

I must be in Hell. I know heaven wouldn't be this painful. My body burned with searing pain but I had no strength to scream. I couldn't open my eyes, my life was over. I know that I somehow deserve this and yet I don't know how I had gone this wrong. I have never killed anybody, I have never given myself away to a girl, I don't see why I deserve all of this pain. I know I lived a grumpy life but I could change.

The pain slowly slid away and I could feel my senses returning to me. I coughed slightly and tried opening my eyes. Every image was blurry, I couldn't make out anything. No, I felt the warmth, I smelled the ashes and I could see the burning fire. I moaned slightly, I was in Hell. It was then that I heard a voice. I couldn't make out what it was saying but I knew it wasn't English.

Little by little the pain continued to leave. I could see a lot better now but I still couldn't make out most of my surroundings. I was in a forest, there was a fire, I was alive. I grunted, trying to gain an explanation from the man who spoke to me. Then there was another voice, again not English but also not any language a human would speak.

My eyes shot wide open, I could see him. Aries grazed five feet away from me. He lifted his head to me and walked towards me. He grazed his muzzle against my skin on my arm.

"Aries?" I could only speak in a whisper. "Your dead, I saw you."

"I told you before Kevin, he needs you."

I knew that voice the second I heard it. Wally sat next to me, he was chanting the words from earlier. I tried to sit up but I couldn't move a single muscle below my shoulders.

"Wally?" My voice was still at a whisper. My lungs wouldn't allow anything more. "He was dead, I was dead. How..."

"Yes, but your not now."

"How?" I couldn't make sense of this. Either I was dead and this was all just a vision, or I was going crazy.

"I healed him." Okay, I was crazy. Or at least he was.

"The hell you talkin' about?" My voice cracked with every word I spoke.

"I told you this burden you carry was unhealthy for you."

"Why can't you just answer my question?" I don't know if it was because of the weakness I felt, being unable to move that made me so angry but I felt irritation with every word he spoke.

"You need to learn to respect your horse, and your family. Even those you may not like."

"This is bull..." I grunted.

"When you wake up, you must find your way back to the ranch. Make everything right again, and you will become you again." I don't know why, but the words scared me. I know he was crazy but still he's the only person out here for many miles, no one else would come to rescue me. He began his chanting again. What was he going to do to me? Torture me?

Just then pain rushed through my entire body. I tried holding back my screams but a few escaped. This pain was worse than anything I have ever felt before, the broken legs, the fall was nothing compared to this. I could feel my hands clutch the grass but no matter how much I tried I could not shake the pain away.

My bones crushed together, expanding my skin. I can't explain what I am feeling buy my body felt as it was exploding. My fingers grew thick from clenching them together until it felt as they were all one.

"Wally!" I screamed, I wanted it to stop, I wanted to die. "Wally what's happening?!"

The pain continued. It seemed as it grew worse and worse as every second passed by. I screamed more, unable to do anything else.

"I will see you back at the ranch."

"Wally! You jackass help me!"

There was no reply. I could feel the pain decreasing. I slowed my breathing. My body fell completely limp. The only thing I had the strength to do was to lie there and pant. My muscles felt tight from my repeated attempts at escaping the pain. I closed my eyes, exhausted I fell into a deep and uneasy sleep.


	7. Changes

Chapter 6: Changes

I lifted my legs high as I ran through the thick grass. As I ran I noticed something different, I used four legs. I was cantering, to put it into proper terms. My mane flew through the air with every stride I took. I was completely transformed, I had my hooves, my tail, my long nose and my fur that kept me warm. I noticed extra weight on my back. When I turned my long neck I saw Laura holding tightly onto my mane. The sight didn't anger me at all. I actually felt comforted to see her happy.

Somehow I was now at my cliff and Laura was beside me. I could see my hands again and my body was human. We stood at the edge of the cliff and she was in my arms. I held her close as if I were about to lose her. I leaned my face slowly towards her and softly placed my lips upon hers. Her hands moved to my hair as I deepened the kiss.

My eyes shot open once I realized the insanity of my dream. I breathed heavily as I tried to tell myself it was just a dream. Not just the kiss but everything else as well. The fall, the ritual, none of that ever happened. Did it? I laid on my side and I could feel spots on my skin that had burnt from the painful gashes that I had gained. Truly the fall did happen, but what happened after that ritual? I remember the pain I had gone through but that was gone now, now I could only feel the sore muscles and the pain of the scrapes.

My mind wandered back to the dream. The thought of me kissing her made my heart race, this scared me, possibly more than falling to what should have been my death. I couldn't shake the want to hold her again. What am I saying? I hate her, don't I?

The scrapes brought me back to my senses again and I threw my head up to lick it. Whoa! Did I just lick myself? My eyes widened. My vision was different, my skin was full of grey hairs and my neck was extremely long. I'm dreaming. I have to be.

I tried to stand but I was extremely wobbly as I struggled to all four feet, or should I say hooves. I tried taking a step forward but I fell flat on my face. I felt the pain of the ground colliding with my nose. I'm not dreaming. What the hell is going on?! My body was formed like a horse, I stood like a horse, I smelled like a horse, I am a horse. What did Wally do?

I stood up again shaking but this time it was because of the fear of events that had occurred. Okey, this is real. I'm a horse. I don't know how but one thing is for sure and that is that I am a stupid, bad smelling, dumb, ugly horse! Everything was too real for this to be a dream. I walked again and after a few tumbles I began to understand how the walk had went. I needed to find home. Heck I needed to find Wally and kick his ass. I looked around the forest. Nothing looked familiar to me. My color vision seemed limited but I was not completely blinded of color as I had thought a horse would be. That'll be a fact I share with everyone once I'm human again.

What if I don't get back to normal? No that can't happen. I need to find Wally he will make it better. His words ran through my mind over and over. _You need to learn to respect your horse, and your family. Even those you may not like. _Stupid Indian, why can't he just mind his own gosh darn business. _When you wake up, you must find your way back to the ranch. Make everything right again, and you will become you again. _Find my way back and make everything right. What did he mean by that? What have I done wrong?

I kept walking not knowing where I was going. I tried trotting a little and that did not turn out to smoothly. It was baby years all over again as I stumbled time after time. It felt like a hour had past and I still had no leads on how to get home. I was starting to get extremely hungry and I had no place to cook a cow. I came upon a meadow that I had never seen before. It was full of tall grass but it gave me no hints on how to get home. As I stomped through the meadow I grew hungrier. I could smell the grass through my new large nostrils and to my amazement it smelled delicious. Great not only was I forced to move as a horse I would have to eat as one too. I lowered my head towards the grass. Although the smelled told me it would taste amazing I still had a weird feeling about eating it. For crying out loud I was about to eat grass. I took in a mouthful whether I liked it or not. I knew I had to eat and this was all that was available. It didn't taste bad as I had thought it would. I found myself taking in more and more of the grass.

As any normal horse would I got caught up in grazing that I had forgotten about my task to get home. I wondered how much time had past since I had began but I knew it was well over an hour. The funny thing was I still didn't feel full but I trudged forward anyways. I needed to get home and get this resolved now. What would my parents be thinking? Wally surely wouldn't tell them that he had performed some ancient Indian ritual on me and turned me into a beast.

Hours past and I still could find no trail to home. The sun was beginning to go down and the more I walked the more frightened I became. I don't even know if I will ever find my way back. I thought I'd try cantering for a bit. I started trotting and tried to through myself up into the gait. I found it extremely difficult to move my legs that way and the only thing I could do was trot faster. I kept trying, thinking if I went fast enough I would eventually fall into the canter. After several minutes of trying I got tired and forced myself to walk. I panted heavily.

Just then the new found scent threw my ears forward and my head shot up. That smell, I know it. I may not have been able to make out this scent when I was human but now I could tell it apart from the others. Excitement spread throughout my body when I continued to take the scent in. The scent was a scent I know, a scent from home. Aries.

I tried the canter again. I reached my peak in the trot as I followed the scent. Come on! Is it really this hard for every horse to canter? Finally, my legs broke free of the trot and moved swiftly with my back legs into a canter. Once I was in this gate it was easy to learn. I was already throwing my legs forward so every time I felt as if I would fall I would catch myself immediately.

I quickened my pace and tried for the gallop. It wasn't hard to get to since it was similar to the canter but I was still cautious. I could smell the scent getting closer. Eventually the speed became to much for me and I continued my journey at a walk. I could tell I was already close to the ranch.

It was almost completely dark by the time I made it to the ranch. No one was outside besides the other horse. My presence had caused the horses to stir in their pasture. As soon as I spotted Aries I knew it was the gelding's pasture. I was home. Every horse's head was turned towards me and my dad's big quarter horse glared his teeth at me from a good distance. I had to chuckle a little, even though I was unable to do so. When I get in that pasture I would show that jack butt who's boss.

I walked through the yard and looked into the windows. The lights were on but I could see no one.

_Mom! Dad!_ My throat vibrated. I kept shouting to the house until I finally saw my dad looking out of the window.

"Hey Brad come here, we've got a wild one."

Oh crap. That's right, I'm a horse now and they couldn't understand me. My father came walking out of the house with a lead rope in hand.

"Easy boy," he tried getting me to come to him.

_You idiot, im not going to run off! I just got here._

"Look at him Brad, he's a beauty."

"He looks young, gosh he is pretty. You don't see many blue roans wandering around."

So I was roan. I didn't know if I could trust my sense of color from before. Everything seemed so strange to me now. I let them put the rope around my neck and they led me to the round pen.

"He acts like he's already trained, you don't think he had run away do you?"

_Ha, stupid Brad. We know every horse owned for several miles._

"No, I would have known who's horse this was if he'd run away. We'll see how he does tomorrow under a saddle."

"Sheesh he sure is noisy."

_Oh my neighing annoys you does it? Well to darn bad! I'm a horse you dumby!_

They left me in the pen which made me feel rather lonely. Maybe Wally was right, I really do need someone. This empty feeling hurt. I was sleeping outside when my family were all living happily inside. They didn't even say anything about me. Do they not care that I have been gone? How long have I been gone?

One thing was for sure and that was I couldn't wait until they try getting in that saddle their talking about. Tomorrow I would humor myself, finally an entertaining task to do as a horse. I was going to prove to my dad how horrid my brother was at riding.


	8. Suicide

Chapter 7: Suicide

It took forever for the sun to rise. I find that I don't need as much sleep anymore as a horse. I made good use of the round pen by continuing my cantering lessons. It was becoming a lot easier to move from the trot to canter. My activeness had made my mother curious cause at probably eight in the morning she came out to meet me. This was something she never used to do, at least that I know of. She sensed I was troubled by this "new" place as a normal horse would be. I stopped goofing around to calm her nerves.

"Hi there pretty boy," my mother stepped up on the lower fence rail to reach her arm to me. Feeling a little awkward I proceeded to her. "You are just so mysterious aren't you. Where did you come from?"

_Mom, it's me. Come on woman, I'm your son!_

"Wow, Brad was right." She started laughing at me. "You do like to talk."

Ugh, these idiots aren't ever going to figure it out. I would be able to tolerate my mom petting me but if my dad and Brad try and rub their hands over my body I will kick them right in the nads. My mother left to go make breakfast after she threw in a flake of hay for me. This is ridiculous, I have to eat hay? I was starving and I had no other options.

The hay did not taste as good as the grass. I suddenly felt bad for never allowing Aries to eat any grass, when I was human again I'd make sure to let him graze in the yard every now and then. I ate while Brad walked out to give the morning feedings.

Hours past and the two men of the family went on with the day as they normally would. They would stop to look at me from time to time but they never came to greet me. The day dragged on and all I could do was walk in this small pen. To add to the annoyance that stupid seven year old and her family came again and they all just had to stop and adore the new horsey. I hate that little brat.

"Mommy, look at that pony." She came right to me. I walked away from her every time she came near me. This amused me since it made her so angry. My dad walked up to greet them.

"Hey there Mel. You like the new horse?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna get a horse like that someday!"

"Really? Well maybe after me and Brad get him trained you'll be a good match for him."

"Really?! I can have him?"

_Oh no you don't! I will kill you before you even have the chance to touch me._

"That's up to your parents."

I hoped the stupid brat's parents would have some common sense not to buy this little snot a new horse. She was already mean to her pony.

"Mommy, I get a new horsey."

"Yeah we'll think about it, go play with your pony first."

"No! I don't want him anymore I want this one."

_Not if I have anything to say about it!_

"Hey Mel, he's not for sale yet ok. Why don't you go and play with your pony for a while and we'll get started with this guy."

"Ok Mr. D."

I couldn't believe that my dad was actually considering selling me to that little brat. Now not only will my brother get his ass kicked but my dad too. Brad came out of no where and threw a western saddle on the fence.

_Haha. Bring it!_

"Ah! Seriously you stupid horse, you don't have to whinny every time I see you!"

_I hope you get a headache._

To make things fun, I let them peacefully put the saddle on. When he tightened the girth I couldn't believe how weird it felt. At first I found it hard to breath but after a while it got better. They left me with a saddle for a while to get used to it. I noticed another car pulling in and my heart sped up. Laura was here, but why? She walked up to my dad. She looked completely depressed. I can't believe how bad it was since her horse was put down.

"Hey Howie." She smiled shyly. "I came to grab my stuff. I'm sorry I didn't get it earlier."

"Lauren! It's so good to see you again. Don't worry about it. You have to come visit us more."

"So, new horse?" She nodded at me.

"Oh yeah, he stumbled into our yard yesterday. He acts like he's already trained but I have never seen him before. You don't recognize him do ya?"

"No, sorry I can't say that I do."

"Ah well, hey if you want to stay for a show, we're about to get on for the first time."

"I might stay for a bit. So, have you..." she looked up to my dad with tears on the edge of her eyes. "Um, have you heard anything about Kevin?"

My ear's perked at the sound of my name. Did she just ask about me? Not only ask but with tears in her eyes. My dad sighed.

"Wally, went out with his horse three days ago. He brought home Kevin's saddle along with Aries trailing behind him. He told us he found the saddle near the edge of a cliff lying down as if someone untacked the horse and put it away.."

That's what Wally told them? That I committed suicide! I'm going to kill him! My mother is suffering because of him.

"He did not! That stupid idiot!"

What? I'm supposedly dead and your calling me an idiot. Nothing has changed about her at all.

"I'm sorry Lauren." He looked at the ground. "His mother told me he was very upset that day when he came home from school. He wanted to go for a trail ride."

_No, I'm alive! I'm right here, Wally is lying!_

"He sure is loud isn't he?" Laura chuckeled.

"Yeah he is."

Brad walked in the pen trying to ignore their conversation.

"Alright loudmouth, open it."

All the sadness in me disappeared when Brad tried shoving the bit in my mouth. I threw my head right at his nose. He jumped back and held his nose.

"Nice job Brad," Laura was laughing.

He came back to me and tried again but this time I let him put it in.

"Alright well I'm going to go get my stuff, I'm gonna' get going." Laura waved to my dad and walked to the barn.

"Alright tough guy, let's see what you've got." Brad put his foot in the stirrup. This was going to be fun.


	9. Oneman Horse

Chapter 8: One-man Horse

Brad landed in a clump near me. That was the third time he had gotten thrown off of me. I reared and laughed at him.

"Stupid horse," He muttered.

"Don't get mad at the horse Brad," my father joined me in the laughter. "You should keep your butt in the saddle."

_Yeah Brad, don't get mad at me. Haha._

"Why don't you get up here then?!"

"I told you to lunge him first."

"Why don't you lunge him then? It's a waste of time."

"Whatever, I'm not gettin' on him. He's smart. Just look at the way he moves, it's like he knows what your going to do."

"Can I try?" We all were shocked to hear that voice. I thought she left already but Laura was watching quietly from the sidelines.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, why not?" She acted so shy lately.

_Ha, good luck._

"Be my guest, just be careful."

"Always am."

She walked into the pen and took the reins from Brad. I would destroy her. She's going to regret ever doing what she has done to me. If it weren't for her and her stupid horse I wouldn't have gone out on that dumb trail ride. I'd still be human.

She didn't get on right away, instead she walked with me around the pen. I followed her, taking in her scent. I hate to say it but her scent was beautiful. There was something about it that calmed me. When she stopped she faced me. When I felt her hands run down my neck my heart started pounding.

"Good boy," she whispered so quietly so only I could hear. She continued to rub my neck and the more she did the more my heart throbbed.

What is wrong with me? I hate her, I hate her. She screwed you up. You can't trust her.

She walked to the saddle and put her leg in. She mounted up so slowly and carefully trying not to pound my sides with her legs. Her body felt so gentle and fragile it was hard for me to hate her. Be strong, remember what she did to you. Her hand stroked my neck again and of course I pushed those thoughts away again. I swear I was extremely close to panting, my heart pounded so hard.

"Gosh he's so tense." She laughed from above me.

"At least he's not trying to kill you like he did with Brad." My father laughed as he nudged my brother's shoulder.

"Alright, can you walk for me?"

Her voice was so soft, I walked forward. Her body moved gently with mine. I couldn't hurt her, she was so fragile. I felt like a simple fall from a standing horse would send her to her death bed. When she asked me to trot her legs softly tapped my sides, and then for the canter she only glided them along my belly. I did everything right for her. I couldn't let her fall. When she had enough fun she slowly tugged back on the reins to stop me. The shock of the bit almost cause me to kick out but I restrained myself. No matter how light of a pull I received on the bit, it still felt shocking to have it pull against my lips.

"Good boy," she patted my neck. This was not as exciting as when she had pet my neck but it still sent shivers down my bones.

"Wow," I turned and looked at the two men watching. I had to laugh when I saw their shocked expressions. "That is amazing Lauren."

"Say Lauren, how would you like a new horse?" My father offered.

_Yes, her!_

Did I just encourage that? What is happening to me? I thought I hated her. Do I? I still wasn't completely sure. There were still parts of her that angered me but with everything else that had happened it cancelled it out.

"Mommy, why is she on my horse?" My anger was back, thank God Laura had dismounted. The stupid snot was back.

"Wow he looks good." His mother seemed impressed. "We've decided we're gonna' take him Howie."

"Oh, sorry Sarah, but Lauren has taken a liking to him and the horse seems to like her too so we're going to give him to her."

"Wait Howie, I don't think I can afford him right now." Laura sounded disappointed.

"We'll figure something out." Brad was near us and he whispered to her. "I don't want that stupid brat to have him."

Brad looked at my dad and nodded.

"Well thats that. Lauren is his new owner."

"Thats not fair Howie, you told me!" God that stupid brat needs to shut up.

I bared my teeth at her. Laura noticed my frustration and took my head in her arms. She rubbed the sides of my face. I instantly became in my trance again. I shivered at her soft touch.

"Howie, you told her a little bit ago that you would sell him to us." The mother kept going on.

"I'm sorry Sarah but Lauren here has just lost a horse and she needs him more than you do."

"Fine, let's go Mel. By the way Howie don't be surprised if we come with a trailer next time."

They left finally. Good, I hope they switch boarders. I don't want to deal with them when I become human again.

"So Lauren, what do you think?" My father asked.

"Um, honestly Howie, I really don't have money right now."

"Lauren sweetheart, he's our treat. We don't want another horse and by the looks of it he's not going to let anyone handle him."

"I can't do that. Thats too much Howie."

"Well, how about you clean a few stalls every now and then. We could use the extra help since Kev... Well, we could use the help."

"Sure, Howie. Thank you." Her voice sounded grateful.

"It's no trouble at all Lauren." My dad smiled at her. "Come on Brad let's let her get acquainted with her new horse."

They left leaving me alone with her. She removed the tack and sat down on the fence rail. I walked up to her. Her scent filled my nose.

"Well, you sure are a pretty horse. I just have to make sure that my dad doesn't find out about you."

What? I remember her telling me once that there were problems at home, well technically I had overheard her. What was going on in her life? She rubbed the front of my long face with her hand.

"Hey Howie." She stopped my dad before he walked into the house. "Where do I put him?"

"Keep him in one of the paddocks for now, we'll let him go with the geldings in a couple days. Unless you'd like us to geld him for you now."

_Oh I don't think so!_

"I guess not huh," They were both laughing at my reaction. Didn't they think I was a little too smart for a horse?

"Well, buddy. I'll have to brainstorm some names for you."


	10. Confusion and Anger

Chapter 9: Confusion and Anger

Laura pulled up in her truck. Yesterday she had become my "owner". I still didn't like the idea of being owned by someone but I was glad it wasn't to the seven year old with a family who knew squat about horses. Last night she had put me in a paddock as my father had said to. It was hard to get used to being alone almost all of the time. I had to behave so he would at least put me in the pasture with the geldings.

I tried ignoring Laura's calls to me when she reached the paddock. I still wanted to hate her, even if I had to behave with her. This was the girl who caused me extreme pain. No matter what my thoughts turn to, the reenactment of the fall plays over and over in my head. Last night I had a nightmare that I was the horse instead and it was Laura who I was dragging down. It made me sick to view an image like that, her soft and fragile body shattered next to mine.

No! There I go again, it was her fault. Her body is hard and cold just like her heart. Just then a warm hand rubbed across my neck. My heart melted at the touch.

"Hey there," She smiled softly at me. Her hands continued to massage my face. "So I thought of a name. How's Kayak sound? I've never been good at naming boys, which was why I choose to purchase my mare years ago, but I think it sounds ok."

_Kayak? Well, could be worse._

I was beginning to realize the loud whinnying was unnecessary and I could control my thoughts with soft nickers. With a lot of practice over night, and a lot of yelling from my brother trying to sleep, I found a voice very soft for a horse. I don't even think it was possible for anyone to hear.

She clipped a halter around my face and lead me through the paddock. I never realized how rough a halter could be for a horse. Though I knew how thick my skin was over my body, the face seemed much more fragile. The halter tended to pinch at my ears and often on my chin. As we walked I could easily take in her scent. Her scent was much sweeter than any of my family members. It was hard to be angry around her when I had a nose as good as this one.

She tied me up in the barn where she had always started with her mare. Of course I get a person who wastes time by grooming forever. I was ready to get back out and stretch my legs. I was ready to snap back and rip the curry comb she was preparing in her hand away with my teeth but when she rubbed the small comb on my body I instantly froze. Did it feel this good for every horse? I always thought that the skin would be too thick for a horse to be able to enjoy the feeling of the brush but boy was I wrong. She reached every spot on my body with a body brush. Though I found it very disturbing to have her brush that close to my rear end I still enjoyed every other moment.

"Your coat is even prettier when it's cleaned," She was rubbing along my shoulders with her hands. I swear if I tried to move my bones would shatter. Every time I felt her touch I would get this way. I wondered what she would think if she knew she was rubbing her worst enemies back. It was hard for me to believe at this moment that we had problems before. As soon as she left me to get a saddle I immediately reminded myself of what she had done to me.

She came back with an English riding saddle. Was she really going to trust a horse this much after one ride? I know I won't do anything to hurt her but in her position I would think otherwise.

We walked out of the barn and she looked around for another persons presence. When she found none she took me to our large arena. She is absolutely crazy. I can't believe that she would dare to ride a horse for it's second time when nobody is around. She hopped right on without giving me any warning. Ok she really has a death wish now.

"Alright Kayak, do your worst." Was she kidding? I could have sworn she was being dead serious. What did she want me to do, throw her off?

Yesterday's gentle touches, soft pulls, and calm voice was gone. She was much more violent with her kicks today and she constantly yelled commands. It was hard for me not to throw her off. In a way I liked this, I could finally be mad at her again. I still wondered why it was she was doing all this.

When we both heard the door of the house shut she instantly stopped her roughness and went back to yesterday's gentle riding. When my dad reached the fence to watch us she stopped me and dismounted.

"Hey Laura," my dad greeted her. "So how was he today?"

"He's..." She looked at me with a half confused and a half amazed look. "He was perfect."

Was she trying to desensitize me of rough riders? I still could not figure out what her problem was today.

"So did ya' name him yet?"

"Yeah, how's Kayak?"

"Sounds good. He's your horse after all."

"Yeah that's hard for me to get used to. I still kind of miss my Suri." She looked at me with her sad eyes. Is that what she was doing? She felt bad because she was missing her horse so she decided to beat me up for it? She really is the rat I saw her as. Does she realize that if she were actually riding a horse she would have been dead? Her selfish acts will get her killed. Just wait until you get back on my back sister.

"Yeah that's understandable." My dad turned around to see who it was that had just pulled in.

My heart pounded hard inside of me. My teeth bared and my body flinched with anger. Wally was walking towards us with a grin on his face. His attention was drawn completely to me.

"Hello Howard." He nodded to my father. "You sure know how to pick them Howard, he's beauty."

"Actually he wandered into our yard a couple days ago. We gave him to Lauren here."

"Did you now," Wally grinned even wider at me. I couldn't take it much longer. I stomped my hoof and nearly launched myself at him. "He doesn't seem to have much of a liking for me now does he? Wonder why that is?"

"Kayak?" Laura was trying to calm me down but it was too late for that. I was already annoyed with her today and now I am facing Wally. I couldn't hold it back anymore, I sprung at him. Though there was a fence that separated us, I knew that I could easily bust through. I stopped myself immediately when Laura pulled harshly on the metal in my mouth. I could feel it clank against my teeth. "I'm sorry Wally, I don't know what's gotten into him."

"That is more than alright Lauren. As humans we too do not like every person we meet, apparently this Kayak has a hard time liking me."

"I'll go put him away."

_Oh sure, I'll go through pain to restrain myself from hurting you but when I act up it's an automatic punishment._

"Nonsense Lauren you can stay."

"No, I need to get going home anyway."

_Sure you do._

I was thankful that I had practiced my quiet thoughts, because if I hadn't I'd be screaming right now. Though I was still angry with her I followed her anyway to avoid the harsh pulls on the bit. She stripped me down of my tack and put me away without brushing me or even saying goodbye. I could live without the brushing but the fact that she has the nerve to leave me like this just sent waves of anger throughout my entire body.

_You just wait until your next ride._


	11. Laura's Secret

Chapter 10: Laura's Secret

Exactly one week from today I had taken the fall. Laura hasn't come back since the last time she was here. Everyone else ignored my presence. Did all horses feel this alone or is this just me? I hate this, all I can do is stand in the paddock all day eating hay. Wally would throw me some carrots every now and then but I refused to eat anything he touched.

My dad and brother went out to get the hay and my mom left about an hour ago to get groceries. School would have been let out about twenty minutes ago. I was completely alone. I was ready for my dad to put me into the pasture with other horses. I know they wouldn't be very interesting but at least I wouldn't be the only breathing animal in the fences.

I pricked my ears towards the driveway. A truck drove in and parked. I looked at the truck and Laura stepped out. Although I was still extremely angry at her, I was still excited that I would finally be able to get out of this pen. I still will not let her ride me, that ship has sailed. She had her chance.

She jogged to the gate. When I saw the tears streamed down her face my anger faded.

"Come on Kayak," she hurried the halter on me. "I need to get out of here, now."

She quickly led me to the barn and threw a western saddle on me without the grooming. I was too confused to care. I was trying to figure out what was going on. She had me saddled and bridled in no time and she immediately jumped on.

"We have to get away from here before Howie shows up. I don't want him looking for me." She truly was crazy to be taking a brand new horse on a trail ride this early. Especially when she beat the crap out of me last time. Today she acted much softer, only she was being hasty.

I don't know why I didn't throw her off but I only remember myself throwing myself into a gallop for her. We were on the trails and headed away from home. Who is looking for her? She acts scared to death and I know she likes my father, so why is she trying to hide?

She wasn't steering me, she obviously didn't care where we went, only just to get away from the ranch. A plan popped into my head. Maybe if I took her to the cliff there will be something there that will give Wally away. There has to be multiple hoof prints or something that will show I was followed. Some how I will show her who I really am. I don't care if I don't like her, she's the only one who I could bring out here.

I veered off onto my hand made trail. Realization hit her when we went of the path. She tried turning me back, she tried stopping me, nothing was going to stop me.

"Kayak?" She was scared now. It was like it had taken her up till now to realize she was riding a very young untrained horse. "Slow. Slow, please!"

_Uh, fine._

I settled down to a canter. I wouldn't go any slower. I wanted to get there. When we neared the cliff area I slowed down to a walk. I could feel Laura sighing of relief. I exited the forest line and stopped completely.

"Kayak?" She tried moving me but I wouldn't budge. She dismounted and looked into my eyes. "What are you doing?"

I shook away from her and sniffed the ground. There had to be tracks, dry blood at the bottom of the cliff, anything! I found nothing.

"You won't run off on me and leave me stranded here if I take the saddle of will you?"

_Uh, no please just get this thing off._

It wasn't the saddle that bothered me but the girth made it feel like I was wearing an extremely tight belt. She unsaddled me and dropped it to the ground. She unbridled me too. Now she was just getting crazy. She walked away and sat leaning against a tree.

"You can leave if you want. Now that I think of it, I can't go home."

_What? Why not? What's going on?_

I walked up to her and stood staring at her about three feet away. This made her laugh.

"That's the good thing about horses, they are always willing to listen." She stared at her hands. "Can you keep a secret?"

_No, I'm going to go fricken tell the dog and he's going to tell the parrot who eventually speaks it to a human._

"Guess so huh." She chuckeled. Her frown returned and she looked back at her hands. "My dad found us."

_What? _

I didn't know her dad was still alive. I really didn't hear too much about him. All I knew was this fact of him finding her scared her.

"My mom had me when she was very young and they defiantly weren't ready for me. She told me he was a completely different person before I was born. He started to get into drugs and alcohol. My mom can't remember a day when he wouldn't come home drunk after work. He eventually became violent. It took her months to finally realize she couldn't handle it anymore. She took me and ran out of there before he or anyone else could find out any information. Yesterday he called home. Gosh my mom is so fricken stupid!"

It hurt. I watched her sob in her hands. I felt so helpless, I wanted to take her in my arms and comfort her. Only I couldn't.

"He persuaded her that he'd changed and she gave him our address. She fricken gave him our damn address. He is probably pulling into our driveway right now giving some stupid sob story of how he's changed. Bull crap. He didn't change, he never wanted me so why would he want to be a father now."

I stepped closer to her. I stretched my neck so my muzzle was near her face. She rubbed it with her soft hands. She was laughing again, through her tears.

"You really are a stupid horse."

_Um, what?_

"Your what three years old? I was hoping you'd throw me off and send me to the hospital. A friend of my mom's was sending letters to us from him. She kept our information a secret until yesterday. I knew by the sound of my mom's friend that she was about to crack. I figured I'd either be better off staying in a hospital with security or at least with the fall, I could use that excuse for the bruises."

_Bruises! What bruises?!_

I tugged at her sleeve with my teeth. If her mother was hurting her I would personally be showing up at her house tonight to deliver pain. She laughed at me and tugged her sleeve down.

"What's up with you? I like this shirt, don't ruin it." She stared at the horizon. "Gosh it is beautiful up here. You think if I jumped off that cliff I would solve my parents problems?"

_No! I won't let you, are you crazy!?_

She was seriously considering jumping, ending her life forever.

"It would work several ways. They would be happy, you would be free to roam these lands, and I could see Kevin again."

Did I just hear that right? She wanted to see me? She hates me, doesn't she? I hate her too. No, that's not true. I can't deny it anymore, I truly like her. No, it was more than that. Every time I saw her in pain I wanted to hold her, embrace her so tight I would guard her from anything. I wanted to hold her, kiss her. I didn't just like her, I loved her.

"I just can't believe he's gone. It's all because of me." The tears were back. "I know he didn't mean to hurt my horse, and yet I hated him for it anyway."

_No Laura its not your fault! Don't even think that._

"I just..." She tried to wipe some of the tears away. "I just wish I wouldn't have nagged him so much. He didn't deserve it. Now he's gone because of me, he killed himself because of me."

_Stop, it wasn't your fault!_

She had to know, she was going to hurt herself if she didn't. How could I tell her I was still here?

"I don't know what to do. I don't have anyone anymore. I hate to say it but Kevin may have been a jerk at times, but he still talked to me."

I nuzzled her arm with my muzzle.

"Yes I do have you. I don't know what I would do you without you."

I laid my huge body down next to her. The sun began to go down and it didn't look like she was willing to go home yet. She laid her head on my neck. I laid flat on my back so I made the perfect pillow for her. I felt her body relax completely within minutes and she eventually fell asleep.

I watched her as she slept. It was nice to see her relaxed and calm. She had a sweatshirt and jeans on and I hoped that was warm enough for her. My high body temperature kept her head warm but that would only do so much.

"Kevin..." she moaned. The word was highly muffled and hard to understand but I heard it clear enough to understand what she had said. "I love you."


	12. Wally

Chapter 11: Wally

The morning sun peaked over the mountains. I wasn't quite ready to wake up yet. I remembered Laura's sweet, warm body lying...

My eyes burst open. Where was she? I jumped up faster than I thought a horse could to get on its feet. I yelled for her but all that came out was a horse's whinny. Did she follow through with yesterday's plans to kill herself? No, she couldn't have.

She was no where in sight. I wasn't there for her. I fell asleep. I could've stopped her but I choose to sleep.

"Kayak?" Her scent filled my nose. I turned to look at her running towards me. "What's wrong bud?"

I sighed from relief. I walked to her and nudged her shoulder.

_Don't you ever do that again._

"Well bud, I have to go back. I can't stay out here."

I didn't like the thought of her going back to that jackass either, but out here she wouldn't be able to survive.

"Gosh its cold out here." She hugged close to my chest. If I was still human I'd probably be hyperventilating. Her soft fragile body snuggled close to my skin. She tried warming her hands under my mane. "Guess I should get you saddled huh?"

I stood still while she put the saddle back on. I worried of what would happen if she went back to her mother. Would her dad hurt her when he saw her?

"You had to have an owner. No horse is this well trained if it came from the wild." After she bridled me she walked near the cliff to take one last look at the view.

"You think Kevin is watching me from heaven?" I watched her. Her back was towards me. I didn't like her being that close to the cliff. "I hope it wasn't painful. I'm so sorry Kevin."

I knew she wasn't talking to me. Well me as a horse at least, she was trying to talk to me from heaven.

_Laura, I'm right here. Please understand._

I hated this. She was suffering. Her abusive father has tracked her down and on top of that she thinks I killed myself because of her. How could I tell her that I'm right here? I wouldn't be able to keep her safe from her family. I needed to be a human again.

There was one person I needed to see, Wally.


	13. Horse Communication

Chapter 12: Horse Communication

I walked in our yard with Laura on me. My brother was busy on a horse in the round pen and my dad was watching him. When he saw me he ran towards us.

"Laura! What happened? You've been gone since yesterday."

"I'm sorry Howie, I... Got lost. I rode a little further than I normally would and I couldn't recognize anything." I laughed to myself.

_You little liar._

"I see, well your parents had come down yesterday and we rode out trying to look for you. I kind of thought you were crazy taking that young horse out for a trail ride."

"Yeah, I did too." She looked at me and patted my neck. "I don't know, I can trust him. I swear its like he's part human or something."

"Yeah, he's smart. I don't think I would've trusted him that much. Did he give you any trouble?"

"No, he was perfect. I think he was owned by someone before, he had to be."

"Hmm. Oh, hey why didn't you tell me your dads in town?" I felt her body stiffen. "He's a pretty nice guy. Pretty good rider too."

"I better get going, I'm going to groom him and put him away." She avoided his conversation. My father's statements about how nice her father was made me angry. How could he believe that mask that he wore? I didn't want her to leave. She might not come back.

"Alright, you can put him in with the geldings now. He didn't look like he enjoyed being alone."

She nodded and dismounted. Once we got to the barn she brushed my skin for a long time. I couldn't enjoy the grooming, I was too focused on how I could keep her safe. If a few minutes she would be leaving to meet her dad and I'm guessing things won't go so smoothly. No one who has inflicted this much fear on Laura would ever be incapable of changing his ways.

"I don't know when I'll be back. I'm hoping they'll forget I even exist, it would be better that way. I love you Kayak."

I moved my head close to her and she cradled it in her arms. She hugged me close to her chest. I closed my eyes and took in her scent. It was hard for me to remember how much of an ass I have been to her in the past. Here was the sweetest girl I have ever met and she used to be my most hated person.

"Come on, you get a new pasture today." I didn't care about the new pasture, the fact that I wouldn't be alone, I only cared about what would happen to Laura if she went home. What if she didn't come back? "I promise I'll be back as soon as I can. Bye buddy."

I watched helplessly as she drove off in her truck. It hurt to imagine her returning to me bruised. No matter how hard I tried that painful image kept returning. It wasn't until a sharp pain digging into my side did I snap out of my trance.

I shied away from the pain and turned to see the cause. Jackson, dad's stupid quarter horse. He bared his teeth at me.

_Who the hell do you think you are?!_

I tried snapping back but as soon as I lunged forward he spun around and nailed me in the chest. The unexpected blow took the breath from me. Horses really do have herd issues, they beat up on the newcomers.

As I tried catching my breath another horse walked up to me. Aries walked to my side and tried sniffing me. I shied away immediately.

_Hey man! What's your problem!_

_Sorry, thought you might want company._

I froze. Did I just here my horse talk to me? He really didn't talk but I understood him. I don't know how it was possible but I could understand him.

_How is this possible?_

_How is what possible?_

_Me conversing with you! You're a horse!_

_Yeah, so are you._

_No I'm..._

The more I communicated with him, the more freaked out I got. At the same time I realized how dumb I must have sounded, even if I was talking to a horse.

_Never mind. So Aries, how about we gang up and go kick the crap out of Jackson?_

_Who's Jackson?_

_You know, Jackson. The tall, dark and handsome._

_You mean our lead stallion? Yeah I don't think so._

_Why not?_

_Cause he keeps us safe. We are a bachelor herd and we need a leader. He fits the job._

_Says who? He's a jerk._

_No, he's just dominate._

_That just doesn't seem right to me._

_That's how its always been. You act like you've never been around other horses before. _

I couldn't believe it. Horses on the low end of the chain got treated like crap and they were ok with it.

_By the way, how did you know my name?_

_Um. I uhh.... overheard the humans._

_You can understand them? How?_

_Wait, you can't?_

_No. I mean I've learned what some of their words mean such as my name but I can't understand anything else._

_I guess... I was just lucky._

_So you own the young female?_

_Excuse me?_

_The young female, you know. She just left in her trailer._

_Trailer? You mean her truck._

_No the trailer, the big thing that moves._

_Yeah, that's a truck for humans._

_How do you know these things?_

_How don't you._

Horses perception on human life was really dull. On top of that, they thought that they owned us.

_Wait, so you think I own Laura?_

_I don't know the names. They all look the same to me._

_Yeah but still, we... I mean humans own us._

_Yeah right. Their our slaves if you haven't noticed. They bring us our food, they clean our houses, and they attend to us when we our out in the wild. _

_The wild?_

_Yeah, it can be scary when your on the other side of the fence. The humans are there for protection._

_No no. You've got everything mixed up._

_What are you talking about? Oh by the way, stay away from my human. I didn't want him but being on the low end of the chain I have to own the youngest male._

_Me? I mean Kevin?_

_Ok, you really are freaking me out here. How do you know the human names?_

_I just... pay attention to their voices._

_But my human hasn't been here since you've gotten here._

_Just forget about ok. Why do you say to stay away from him?_

_Because he's dangerous._

I'm dangerous? Why does my horse think I'm dangerous?

_What do you mean?_

_Last week, one of the mares escaped the fences and my human attacked her._

_No I... Never mind continue._

_Then not too long after that, he tried to kill me._

_What! How?_

Stupid horse. He was the cause of my near death experience and now he wants to blame me for everything.

_He took me near a cliff. He wouldn't protect me. He tried running me off a cliff. It was a painful fall but he must have died from it cause he hasn't been back since. Good thing too, he was a horrible human._

_What? How?_

_Well most horses here actually love their humans and they really don't think of the humans as their slaves, instead they see them as companions. My human views me as his slave. I transport him. I just hate how I am the only horse here who has to own the slave owner._

Great. Not only did people hate me, but horses did too. I think back to all of the times I had forced Aries in hard workouts without taking at least ten minutes to brush him down. I never gave him special treatment. The thing that made me upset was even after being such a jerk to him, he still tried to please me. He never tried to throw me off, he galloped for me even though I pushed him too hard and he had almost died because I couldn't watch out for him.


	14. Answers

**1/1/09: Chapter 1 has been changed, you can visit that page to see a more detailed description for changes. Hope you like the new chapter. I'm trying to lure more people into this story so I added RobxKris into the summary. For that explanation read the summary page.**

Chapter 13: Answers

Last night I barely slept. Between worrying about Laura and having to deal with the hatred from the other horses it was hard to concentrate on sleep. Aries kept me company but I couldn't stop wondering when I would see Laura next. Would she be hurt and covered in bruises or will she even be coming back at all? Last night was the first night I had desperately tried thinking of ways to get out of this mess. I am sick and tired of being in this body and I want out. After hours upon hours of hard thinking there was only one solution. I needed to see Wally.

Though I have a huge hatred for the man he is the only person who has the power to turn me back. My dad was doing his morning chores and Brad was getting ready for a ride. If I was going to be stuck helplessly in this pasture while Laura is living with an abusive father I will become insane.

A week passed. Laura still hasn't come. Yesterday I had come extremely close to jumping the fence and running to her house. Aries got to me in time after nipping me and calling me an idiot for even thinking about trying to clear the electric wire. Who knew horses could be so temperamental? Eventually I recognized how crazy it would be for me to try and escape. I would cut myself on the wire and most likely break something with these fragile horse legs.

"Having fun young Kevin?" My name. Nobody knew my name except...

I turned to see Wally staring at me from the other side of the fence.

_Wally! Change me back!_

"I told you not until you figure it out."

_What are you... Wait how is it you can hear me but no one else can?_

"Isn't that obvious? I created this situation, of course I can understand you."

_Oh, well good change me back you jackass!_

He chuckled at me.

"I can't." Both anger and sadness streamed through my body.

_What do you mean you can't change me back?! I'm stuck like this forever?!_

"No. You will change back when your spirit believes you are ready."

_English Wally! We don't all come from stupid crazy Indian heritages who perform idiotic rituals as a prank._

"Kevin at such a young age your spirit is unhealthy. If you were to follow your life as you have been your whole life, you will never be happy. In my lifetime I have noticed something about kids like you. You grow up angry at the world. I know that is not all your fault but a lot of your actions have been based on unnecessary anger. I've seen kids like you turn to drugs and alcohol. Even kids like you who don't think that would ever be a possiblity. Since I know you've heard that speech of how drinking is bad I will spare you from hearing it again. All I can tell you is you were headed towards a fall and it wasn't very far along."

I tried to calmly take in what he had said. I tried thinking about my life, before all of this happened. I don't know if I would have been considered depressed. On the other hand I also couldn't say that I was entirely happy. I couldn't deny what Wally had told me. I hated my life. That was until now. Now I have someone that I care about. Someone who is most likely hurting right now. I thought of her cowering in a corner of her room or maybe a closet. Trying to hide from the world that has been so cruel to her. She didn't know that she had someone who cares about her, me. She thinks I'm dead and what's worse is she thinks my death is because of her. A thought entered my mind. Maybe I could change that.

_Wally I've changed, I really have. I care about Laura and right now if I don't get out of this mess she might end up dead! Please Wally, help me._

"Laura? You mean Lauren Scott?" I have been using my nickname for her so frequently now I had completely forgotten she hated it. "Why do you think she is in trouble? She's on her way here now."

The excitement from this fact built up inside of me. She was okay.

_What? How do you know?_

"She was walking here and when I offered a ride she turned it down." I didn't know whether I should be relieved or terrified. In a way both were necessary emotions. She was obviously ok but it troubled me that she was walking here. What happened to her car? Had her dad stripped her of driving privileges so now she has to walk miles to reach a destination?

_Wally I still don't understand. I've changed so much these past couple of weeks. Why haven't I turned back yet?_

"It's not enough. Not yet at least. I must say I am glad to hear it is working for you but apparently you still don't feel like your ready."

_What does that mean? I don't get it, you say that I have the power to change myself back but why can't I? I desperately need to go back._

"It's not something I can explain to you Kevin. You must find out on your own."

_How will I know?_

I was beginning to lose hope. This entire time I had been counting on Wally being able to change me back but now I have to learn how to do it on my own. After all the changes that I have gone through these past weeks I don't know what it's going to take to get back to normal.

"Trust me Kevin. You will know when the time comes. It's one of those things that sounds really hard but when you feel it you will find it easily."

_Yeah right._

"Now can I trust that you won't snap at me if I walk in to retrieve my horse? Lauren shall be here very soon."

_I can't promise you anything but I'll try._

He chuckled as he walked in the pasture. He walked to me and patted my neck.

"Don't worry Kevin, everything will turn out alright."

_Says the man who turned me into a horse._

"The other's had said the same thing, and now they thank me for it."

_Others?! What? You tortured other people with this too?_

"Long ago son. Your not the only person who is troubled."

_I can't believe you! You just go around finding depressed people so you can turn them into horses? What, does it give you some special pleasure to see those people suffer so much to you?_

"Actually, you are the first horse I have created. I figured your friend Aries here needed to give his owner some well needed conversations."

I looked at Aries on the other side of the pasture. I was far enough away from the other horses for them to ignore my conversation with the human. This I was glad for. I didn't want to be considered crazy by the horses the rest of my life.

_So what's your stories for the other people you have tormented?_

"Well, I had a friend long ago who had problems forgiving the wolves for taking his mother's life. What he didn't know was his mother actually drowned from tumbling into a river. He poached any wolf that came into his sight so I helped him to see the truth. He was the first person for me to test my abilities on."

_How did you learn how to do it?_

"My father was very old. He was chief of one of the tribes that are still around today. He taught me healing tricks, transformations..."

_This is crazy._

"What's so crazy about it Kevin?"

_I... I don't believe in this crap! This is all something that would happen in a movie not in real life!_

"Indeed, and yet here you stand. Four legs and an animals body."

_I still sometimes wonder if this is all a very long dream. You know I could be in a coma right now. I did take quite a big fall._

"You would know by now if you were still dreaming."

_Wait that reminds me. Why the heck were you following me that day anyway?_

"I saw in a vision I had the night before. You would call it a dream of great coincidence that you followed the same exact steps as in this dream. I decided it was too early for your death, so I revived you."

_F.Y.I. if you hadn't made noises to spook my horse I wouldn't have fallen from that cliff._

"I'm surprised you never realized that wasn't me. A grizzly was very attached to your scent. Trust me you would have rather fallen from the cliff than turn back to the wrath of that bear."

_How did you get away?_

"I understand the creatures in the forest. He left me peacefully."

_I should have known._

"If you don't mind I must tend to my horse. Lauren is now in the driveway."

Sure enough when I turned I saw Laura walking with her hands stuffed in her pockets. My heart dropped when I saw her saddened posture as she stared at the ground. Whatever she was thinking about she did her best to hide any upset emotions once she reached the gate. The closer she got the more I searched for any injuries. I couldn't find anything too major but I still didn't believe that she wasn't suffering from something. She walked in the pasture and started towards me.

"Hello Lauren," Wally walked around her with his horse. "No car today?"

"No, I uh..." She seemed to be struggling for an answer. From that moment I knew that there was defiantly something wrong. "I just felt like walking today. It's not that far of a walk."

"You be careful on the horse. You don't want him running off on you." He chuckled at me.

_You better get out of that gate while you still can._

I didn't mean it threateningly, I somehow found the spirit to joke around with him.

I felt it. However, as soon as it came to me it disappeared instantly. I felt the ability to change back. No, no, no! Why did it go away? I had it, or did I? I sighed when I realized my attempts were most likely just my mind playing tricks on me. Laura was at my side rubbing my neck. She didn't speak to me until Wally was out of the pasture and out of sight.

"Hey buddy. I'm sorry I haven't made it here in a week. There's a lot going on at home right now."

I examined her body. I looked for bruises or scrapes but to my amazement and relief I found none.

"Well, I do have good news and bad. Good news is my dad isn't abusive anymore. I couldn't believe that he had really changed that." I was surprised and yet full of relief to hear that. "But, now... it's like I don't even exist. I expected this from my dad but my mom... yesterday they spent the entire day away. I talk to her and she first would at least acknowledge my existence but now... she ignores me completely. I know I'm probably a selfish person but I hate it."

_What do you mean your selfish? Why in the hell would you think that?_

"You know most people without parents would kill for my life I suppose. I know there are people in worst situations than I am but I still hate it."

Her face was now streaming with silent tears. She refused to allow her self to cry. I wanted desperately to take my fingers and wipe away the tears. I had to remind myself that such a move would crush her face with my oversized hooves. The most I could to was reach in with my muzzle. It was hard to remind myself that I wouldn't be able to kiss her like this either. I moved my nose to her shoulder. I decided it was the most I could do without making her think I was a perverted stallion. Her sweet scent filled my nostrils.

_Your not selfish. You deserve better._

I hated to admit this. I know how much she deserves someone better. Not only better parents but a better friend. Even if I was human, even if she had the feelings for me as I do with her, I will always realize how horrible I am for her. For years I showed undeserved anger towards her. She never did anything wrong to me. I overacted that first day we met, I can see this now. I want desperately to take it all back. Even when I find the ability to become human again, I can't ever be with her. I will never tell her how much I wish I could hold her close, or my need for that kiss I have been waiting for, for two weeks now.

"So, since I now have no one to care that I exist, how about another camping trip?" Her hands moved down my neck. My heart throbbed against my chest. It was harder to remind myself what I was. "Come on, I have to get out of here before the Dershado's see me. My parents won't notice I'm missing but I don't want them to worry."

_Don't you think they'll notice a missing horse?_

I waited for her to answer until my thick head reminded me she couldn't hear me. I followed her to the barn where she threw only a bridle on. She grabbed a tightly wrapped horse blanket and tucked it underneath her arm.

"This coat will only keep me warm for so long." She explained to me. "Before you say you need one I must remind you that your skin is a heck of a lot thicker than mine is."

_Hey baby you can just snuggle close to Kev. I'll keep you warm._

It felt nice to be able to joke around, even if it was to myself. She struggled to climb upon my back with the large blanket in her arm. Eventually I sank as low as possible without falling over and she was comfortably on my back. I looked around the yard, confused as to where my family was. Then I recognized the two horses being trained tied up. Obviously it was time for their lunch break.

"Ok Kayak, get me out of here."


	15. Funeral

**I made a picture of Kayak looking out on his cliff. I have never been too colorado before so I only use what pictures i have from school xD I photoshoped them together and here it is . c om/albums/nn21/Soccermustang/Photoshop/?action=view¤t;=KayakLookingDown. j pg**

**By the way if anyone is from Colorado and I'm getting any facts wrong please let me know xD**

Chapter 14: Funeral

The sun had about two hours before it would descend. Laura had left her blanket at our cliff and decided she wanted to explore. I gave her full control from my bare back, afraid a wrong move would send her fragile body crashing into the rock beneath us. She found a path that eventually led us below the cliffs. I realized that this must have been the path Wally had taken to retrieve my lifeless body along with my horse's. I wasn't completely sure exactly where we were, but I knew that we traveled far from my cliff.

Laura's emotions to coming down here have been causing me to worry since we left our spot. She seemed desperate to find something as if she had lost it down here. I know how impossible that was since the only other time that she had been here was with me and I don't recall her losing anything. Still, her mood sent shivers throughout my body.

For several minutes we walked along the cliff side. The entire time I walked with her I tried hard to decode her thoughts. I had no luck in doing such. I was beginning to feel anxious to move my legs to escape her feelings but every time I attempted to brake into a trot she tugged back on the reins. I didn't want her to feel frightened of having a run away horse so I obeyed her as a normal well-trained horse would.

Some strange scent began to fill my nostrils. I still couldn't help but be amazed by my new sense of smell. I could know who was coming before I even looked up to see their face. There was a scent for every person I knew. Laura's happened to be the sweetest and most calming aroma. As I continued to walk forward the scent got stronger. I didn't like this smell, I couldn't place a name for it but it was extremely unpleasant. It was hard to believe that Laura was unable to smell it.

My muscles cramped and I stopped dead in my tracks. I felt my body begin to shake involuntarily as realization spread through my mind. As the picture came into view I knew exactly what that scent was. My vision may have limited me from certain color but I knew exactly what the darker stains in the stone represented. That scent is the smell of old, dried blood. That scent was the smell of death. Laura had indeed lost something that she wanted to find, me.

She slid from my back after figuring out why it was that I was acting so strangely. I wasn't exactly sure why it was she wanted to see this for her own eyes but she had come down here to find what was left of me.

"It's true," she was now kneeling on the ground, tracing the dried stains with her fingers. I felt disgusted that I had brought her here to see this. I looked around to make sure there weren't any signs of my body being dragged. Wally must have carried me somehow without leaving a trail because there was nothing other than this spot where my body landed from the fall that was covered in the dry blood. I was amazed that there was still a stain left.

"No. No," Laura sobbed into her hands. Now I felt extremely guilty for having exposed her to this mess. "It can't be true. This is something else. This is not his blood."

She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. My heart shattered at the sight. I looked up to examine the cliff from above. Sure enough it's familiarity proved that this was where my body was splattered and now Laura had to suffer worse than I had that day. Her earlier emotions were clear to me now. She was trying to make sure I hadn't jumped, I noticed the hope she had before she viewed this. She had been trying to convince herself that I was still alive somewhere, lost in these trees. Now there wasn't any hope left, she has seen the scene of the crime.

I forced myself to stay put instead of trying to comfort her. It would be more healthy for her to get the tears out than to try holding them back when her horse starts nudging her. She obviously knew how emotions normally affected horses, she was an amazing horse trainer and I had told her otherwise.

This is my fault. If I would have shoved my stupid pride down the drain we might have ended up as friends. Who knows, we might have been more than friends which is something I desperately want now. I hate myself, I know that even if I do find the strength to change myself back into a human I don't deserve her. I don't deserve any form of respect or kindness from her. I need to be punished by living a live of what could have been. I will never be able to be with Laura Scott.

I wouldn't allow my eyes to leave the horrible sight before me. The pain in my heart is well deserved. After ten minutes her tears slowed. She struggled to return her breathing to normal.

"I'm sorry Kevin," she turned her head to look towards heaven. "I'm so sorry."

_No Laura, don't be! I was wrong to ever make you feel this way, I am responsible._

"Please, if I make it someday to be with you, please forgive me."

_You did nothing wrong!_

She stood and walked away from me. She walked into a meadow of grass nearby and bent down to touch the grass. I watched her return with a colorful bouquet of weeds and wild flowers. She set them down to cover part of the stained rock ground.

"I know you probably won't believe me but, I love you."

_I love you too._

I know she meant it in a different way than I had but the words were still enough to send my heart racing wildly. She loved me as a friend and that was enough motivation for me to get my head thinking about changing back.

"Let's go Kayak," she was on my back before I even knew it. She didn't look back at the grave she had made. It didn't take long for me to realize that she couldn't bare it no longer. I know that it is guilt that is causing her to suffer but how I wish she actually loved me.

There was no sound that escaped Laura's lips the entire walk back to our cliff. The sun was falling over the horizon and she snuggled into the blanket. I wished I could've had normal blankets stored in the barn, there was no way that would be comfortable for her. I stayed as close as I could without scaring her into thinking I was going to trample her.

I watched her looking at the falling sun. I had to continually repeat to myself that I was no good for her. It was hard not to be selfish when I was looking at her. How could I not have seen how beautiful she is while I was a human? If I would have kept my mouth shut and listen to her voice I would have realized how perfect she is. Then and only then, I would have been an acceptable match for her. Now I was too late. It would be too late to apologize to her when I was human again, if I am human again. Besides, if I changed back she would think my pathetic stories of turning into a horse and falling in love with her during that time would sound ridiculous to her when she asked me where I had been.

"I still can't figure out where it was you came from." Her voice sent trembles down my bone. It was so soft it was hard not to be touched by it. "You must have had an owner. No horse that came from the wild would be this well ground trained. Not to mention there aren't wild horses in this area. So Kayak, give me your opinion."

It amazes me how much she truly needed her horse for a friend. She tells me everything when I am around her. Well, that is when I'm a horse.

"If someone you barely talk to asked you to prom would you go with him? Well in your case her." My heart dropped instantly. My mind was fighting between jealously and concern. It was hard to remind myself that I was no good for her. "Matt Aturall asked me a couple days ago and I told him yes. I really don't know why I even said yes, I barely even know him."

Upon hearing the name my whole body tensed. It was no longer jealousy, it was anger. I knew Matt well, not as a friend but I know of his reputation. He has broken several hearts in the past with his one night stands. If he ever did anything to Laura...

I couldn't picture it. It hurt to much to think of Laura shivering in the corner, eyes full of tears. I swear I would kill him if he ever hurt her. I need to get out of this body!

"I've never had a boyfriend. I hate to say I'm kind of desperate for anyone to love me. Now that my parents..." She sighed and put her head down. I forced myself to watch her suffer. It was my fault she was in this mess. I could have showed her compassion before but I didn't and now she is going to fall for Matt's phony act. "I can't lie to you Kayak, you're the only thing keeping me here, alive."

_No, don't you say that._

If I was human, I'd be crying. I need to change back, but how? I need help but according to Wally I'm on my own. If I don't change back soon, she is going to get hurt.

"Well Kayak, I'm going to sleep. It would be wonderful if you would stay but if you run off at least you'll give me a reason not to go back." She sounded sarcastic but I knew that she had some truth behind it. To show her I wasn't going anywhere I put my legs in front of me and lowered my huge body to the ground.

"Good." She chuckled.

I watched her slowly fall asleep. The sun fell down behind the horizon and the moon shined bright upon us. I wonder what she would think if she knew it was me watching over her? More importantly, how would I tell her I was with her this entire time. That is if I ever figure out a way out of this body.

I quietly pushed myself up and walked far enough away for her to sleep peacefully. Now was the time I needed to figure this out.

_Come on, I'm alone, there are no witnesses, change back! Come on!_

I shut my eyes. I tried to imagine the transformation. I remember the pain. My bones slowly expanded, stretching my skin to cover them all. I cringed at the memory of how painful my journey had been. I remember the feeling I had after I had spoken to Wally. I had been so close. Why can't I feel that now?

_I'm a human, I'm human! This is all a dream!_

I couldn't control the anger, the sadness, the emotions any longer. If I was human you could say I was having a mental breakdown. As a horse I could do nothing more that thrash my legs in the air and grunt it out. I would have looked like a crazy, psychotic horse to anyone who would have witnessed this. I bucked every time my legs left the ground. My breathing was rough when I told myself I was going insane.

_Please! Wally, God, somebody help me!_

I leaned my incredibly large head against the trunk of a tree. I waited until my breathing calmed before I would walk back to guard Laura. I hate myself. Why did I have to do this to myself? I tried hard to think of the goodness that has come from all of this. It brought me to realize how wrong I was, how much damage I had done to what's left of my soul. It brought me to Laura. For years I have caused her emotional pain and it took me until now to realize that.

I forced myself to get a hold of reality. I walked back to where Laura lay fast asleep. Her face was lightened by the moonlight. My heart crumbled at the beautiful sight. I don't know if I will be able to stay away from her even if I become human. I have grown from these past two weeks to adore that face, that voice, that soft touch when she would stroke along my neck. All I know is I can't live without her.


	16. New Enemy

**Alright here is the long awaited new chapter. Sorry it took so long, but it is nice and long. I had a huge writers block but I have finally worked through it and now I am pretty sure on how the rest of the story is going to play out. I had several options before but I think I have picked one. Thank you very much for those who have reviewed. I read over some of my older chapters and I already realize some things I need to change so I will be redoing stuff like that when i finish. I'm just as anxious as you guys who are reading this to get to the days when kevin is human again lmao**

Chapter 15: Another Enemy

I concentrated hard on keeping my legs moving in balanced movements. I knew how easy it was to take a bad step when you were a horse. I wouldn't normally mind falling flat on my face but Laura's fragile body felt like it would slide off at the most simple wrong move. I wondered if that feeling would ever go away? I knew it was very unlikely that she would fall but it never felt that way. I wanted to walk so I could avoid that risk of her falling but she loved to go fast. I could feel her heart accelerate as I cantered with her.

It was easier for her to ride since she left the blanket back at the cliff. I had a feeling that she would be making quite a few camping trips in the future. Hopefully, some of these trips I will be able to join her as a human.

We reached the ranch too soon. I didn't want her to go back to those untrustworthy people known as her parents. The ranch was empty which meant the family was off to Sunday morning mass. If I ever get out of this, I promise to never complain about going to church again. For a small moment I felt the need to pray to God to give me my life back. Then I realized Wally's freaky Indian rituals that shouldn't even exist would counter God's attack. Maybe God would think I deserved this just as much as Wally thought I did.

"Alright Mr. Amazing trail horse. What other skills do you have?" Before I could make sense of her words Laura jumped down and walked to open the gate to our arena. "How good are you on the jump circuit?"

She lead me in to the arena and closed the gate behind me. I glanced at one of the jumps already set up. Brad must have been working here earlier. We never left the arena like this. I watched her lowering one jump and my body immediately flooded with fear. Is she crazy? I feel like I could dump her by running let alone jumping. Not only that but she's going bareback.

"Ok, all set." She brushed her hands off and headed my way. My legs moved me backwards, away from her.

_Um, no. You may not care what happens to you but I do._

"Oh come on, you'll behave on the trails but when we get to work you become a wuss." I looked around, searching for an exit. The only way out of this pen was to jump the five feet of fence. She caught my reins and walked with me as I side stepped.

_Lauren Scott I am not doing this!_

"Come on Kayak, sit still."

_I'd like to see you try._

Before I could even react, she threw her body up onto my back as I tried escaping her. As soon as I felt her body weight shift to my back I stopped moving. She laughed as she sat with victory.

"You're a big push over, you know that?"

_Oh I am, am I? _

I slightly shifted my weight to my hind legs to stand up on my rear legs. I arched my back to leave her a good seat. It felt good to be standing on two legs again, except it wasn't as comfortable as it used to be. Gravity pulled me down just as quick as I left the ground. Laura continued to laugh from my back.

"Ok, so you're a push over and a rebel. I can handle that." She scratched my neck with her soft fingers. My muscles relaxed from her touch. It took several reminders, to myself, to remind me what I was currently. I held my desires to turn my head and meet her eyes by walking forward.

For a few minutes I avoided the jumps by walking along the fence. I tried to pretend I was tired but I knew she wasn't buying it.

"Come on Kayak, just a couple tries. I don't want to go home yet." It wasn't until this argument that I was given a good reason to listen to her. I moaned in defeat, which sounded like an irritated nicker to her, and I moved my feet up to a slow canter. My legs moved extremely slow for the gait. The closer we got to the pole held a few inches from the ground the more worried I got. I remember times when I tried to get Aries to make these leaps and I can't help but feel guilty for giving him as much punishment as I had for not making the jump. I was now only a few feet away from the pole.

_Oh my gosh, Laura I can't do this!_

I felt like I was going to hit the pole with a leg and then fall right on top of her. It was either that or she would fall from my tall back and smash into the ground. With little time to thing I chose my second option. It would be better for her to fall than to be smushed. I threw my legs up as if I were jumping a pole set three feet up and I payed close attention to her body moving with mine as we flew through the air. It felt good, we were in synchronization and working together perfectly. I felt like I was whole with her, like we were one. My front feet took the hard blow on the ground and my back feet followed. I must admit myself that it was a pretty graceful jump for someone as new to this as me.

She was having too much fun to remember her promise of only a few jumps. Not that I didn't mind, I was having just as much fun. Plus, the more time she spent here was less time she had to be miserable with her parents. Too soon did she pull back until I walked.

"Alright time to cool you..."

"Nice lookin' horse you got there." The voice startled me just as much as it did with her. We looked in the direction as to where it came from. The man had short blonde hair and leaned against the fence watching us. How long had he been standing there?

"Thanks, um. Do you have a horse here or something?" Laura tried acting calm but I could sense how uncomfortable she was alone with a strange man. Well, at least she thought she was alone, I was ready to bolt if the man took one step towards us.

"No I don't. You don't remember me do you?" His voice sent shivers down my spine. It was a rough voice that scared even me. Already I didn't like this man, he has no right to be here.

"I don't, sorry." It took until now for me to realize Laura's parents walking out of the barn towards us. I couldn't stop my body from shivering in anger at the sight of them.

"I'm Rick Agerone, I sold you that arabian several years ago." I felt Laura's mood shift to pure anger and hatred. She has never felt this way around me before, obviously this man was not a friend. Her parents were now only a few feet away from Rick but Laura seemed to ignore their presence.

"Actually Richard, I like to think of it as rescuing her from you."

"Lauren!" Her dad was glaring at her now. I pinched my ears back and snared my teeth at him.

_Watch yourself!_

"Not to be rude Richard, but weren't you in jail for attempted murder? Oh no wait, that was after you stole three horses and left two dead!" I felt a shiver of fear for Laura's safety at her newly discovered bravery. Attempted murder, not someone you want to mess with. "Why the hell did they let you out?"

_Easy Laura, don't push him._

It was times like this when I wish I could throw my hand over her mouth to shut her up. She was digging herself a very deep hole.

"Lauren! You watch your damn mouth!" Once again I found myself baring my teeth at her father.

_Step on this side of the fence! I dare you! I'll have you out in three seconds!_

"Ben, please don't." Her mother held his arm. It was hard to feel sorry for her when she was the idiot who took him back.

"Your gonna' let her talk like that? Well I'm not, that's your last warning girl! Not another word!" I pawed the ground angrily, well it was actually more like slamming my hoof into the ground.

_She has a name!_

My anger receded when I felt her body shiver, she spoke nothing more. Where is Wally? He needs to see this, maybe that will change his mind. I still am unsure with whether or not he was telling the truth. I think that he does have the power to change me but he is just stubborn.

"No worries Ben," Rick threw himself back into the conversation. "Your father was very kind as to bail me out. We all deserve second chances don't we?"

He smiled. It wasn't a normal smile, it was one of pure evil. I could feel Laura's anger radiating from her body and yet she was too afraid to argue. It was at that point that he decided to crawl through the fence. He made his way towards us and Laura dismounted. I took a couple steps to stand in front of her in case this man decided to do anything stupid.

"What have we here? Blue roan, looks like a mustang. Am I right?" He looked to Laura for an answer.

"I don't know." She stared nervously at her feet. I could tell what she was thinking. Out of the four people here, she was alone.

"Shame. You should know your own horse. Let's hope you don't murder this one."

That was all it took. I snatched his hand with my teeth and crunched down. His scream filled the ranch and the other two humans joined us in the arena.

"Kayak no!" Laura gripped the reins and pulled me back. I didn't retreat right away, I wanted this man to feel pain. Eventually I gave in to Laura's pleas and I took two steps back. I watch, satisfied as the man crouched to the ground clutching his hand. I tried to remove the blood from my mouth however, I found it difficult to do without fingers.

"Lauren, put that beast back! We are going home now!" Ben was helping Rick to his feet.

"Kayak, let's go." Laura whispered to me as she pulled me along.

As soon as we were back at my pasture I realized what my actions had done. I had just made things worse for Laura at home. She was removing my halter and was ready to leave.

"I know I am a bad person for saying this but, thank you. I kind of enjoyed that." She chuckled. "I promise, I'll be back sometime this week, ok?"

_I'm so sorry Laura. Please, please be careful._

I couldn't bare this, she was going home with those people. She kissed my muzzle and turned to leave. She shut the gate before I had a chance to follow her.

_No, Laura! Please, don't go!_

I forced myself to use a voice, not human but I whinnied for her. I was also pacing along the fence. She never turned. I watched her climb in the back of her parent's car and soon after, her parents got in and drove off. It hurt to watch her go, not knowing when I would see her next.

My ears pricked at the sound of footsteps. My nose wrinkled in disgust. Rick was still holding his hand which was still bleeding heavily. It took me until now to realize his fancy car in the driveway.

"Boy I tell you, if I had both hands to use right now I would kill you right here and now." I bared my teeth at him.

_I'd like to see you try!_

"You just wait, I'm in town for a while. I'm not leaving until I get what I came for." He smirked.

_What is that? What the hell are you planning?_

"Your girl Laura has pissed me off for the last damn time, I can tell you that right now. She got lucky last time. She never would have gotten away if I hadn't been so careless. I should have known she had called the cops on me when she seen the horses."

_What did you do?!_

I love Laura so very much, but I can't deny that her life has really sucked. What did she do to deserve any of this? Who knows what this man had tried to do to her.

"I'll be seeing you again Chomper. Count on that." He smirked at me before turning and walking to his car. I felt several emotions running through my body; anger, confusion, hatred, but most of all, fear. Not fear for me but fear for Laura. Laura was right, this man belonged behind bars in a jail cell.


	17. Depression

**3/9/09: Sorry for the long awaited update. I have been extremely busy with competitive cheer right now and we finished this weekend at State and our team took 3rd place which was extremely exciting :D Good way to end my senior cheer year xD Anyway about the story we are coming down to Kevin's final horse days. I am still unsure of how much longer I'm going to keep him as Kayak but I think I have a good idea. I drew a picture of Kayak but I haven't posted it on my deviant art yet so I'll let you know when I do. Alright, here is number 16, Enjoy.**

* * *

**_All Characters copyrighted to Soccermustang_**

_

* * *

  
_

Chapter 16:Depression

_What is your problem Kayak?_

I ignored Aries' remarks and continued pacing along the fence. Laura lied to me. She had promised me that she would have came within the next week. Well it's going on two now. I can't believe this, I have been a horse for a month now and I still haven't found out how to get out of this mess.

_Seriously, how long are you gonna keep this up?_

_Just don't worry about it Aries._

_Alright fine then._

I felt bad treating him as rude as I was but I had other things on my mind. Where was Laura? My brother was working with another horse in the arena and my dad was talking on the phone near the barn. I snorted and continued my pacing. If she doesn't come back within the next couple days I swear I'm busting out of here. I pawed anxiously at the ground. This was becoming ridiculous and I have no doubt that this suspense is going to drive me insane.

"Yeah he seems quite anxious today." My dad was walking towards our pasture. I shook my head and walked some more. I ignored him while he opened the gate. "Yeah he really seems to miss you."

My ears immediately perked up.

_Who are you talking to?!_

"Yeah thats no problem at all."

_Dad! Come on!_

"No, you stay home and you get healthy again."

_Is it Laura? Is she sick? What did that jackass do to her?!_

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." He sighed as he hung up the phone. He started to put a halter on me.

_Spill dad! What's going on?_

"Well, your owner will be back tomorrow. She had a little injury last week when she fell off you."

_What? She never fell off me._

Did she? I thought through all our moments together. No, Laura never took a fall from my back. What is going on?

"She's got a good, deep cut on her for head and she had to get it stitched up. She asked me to give you some attention."

For a moment I swear I felt my heart stop and I was floating towards the darkness of death. Laura is hurt, and she gave a lie as to how it occurred. My entire body shook, my bones felt like they were trying to explode. My eyes opened wide.

_Oh my gosh! This is it!_

"Come on Kayak." My dad's tug on the rope broke it.

I was now frozen from complete disappointment.

_No. No!_

As angry as I was at my father the disappointment overruled it. I almost transformed. I was so close and he ruined it.

As he dragged me along I tried to decipher the truth to changing back. When did I last feel it? I was with Wally, we were joking around. Now, I just found out the love of my life is getting abused by her sorry excuse for a father and good for nothing mother. I tried to think of something, anything that would give me a hint but nothing added up.

The next time I see Wally I will tell him. I will drill it into his thick head that she is getting hurt and she needs my help, or at least someone's help. He will have to change me back then. That or he will stick to his original claim that it cannot be done. Though now that I think about it, I haven't seen him in over a week as well. He came a few days after I had last seen Laura but since then he has not come. Thats strange, he usually never lets his horse go three days without a visit.

As we walked I heard dad's phone ring again in his pocket.

"I'm popular today aren't I Kayak?" He elbowed me as if I were his best friend. I scuffed a laugh to myself and listened to his phone call, hoping that it was Laura saying she'd be right out. "Not you too! Oh my gosh. Are you okay?"

_What? Who is it?_

"Oh no, I'm so sorry." My dad's pace slowed and his mood changed to fear. "No, you stay there as long as you can... You need to get better... I promise you I will take good care of him until you get back... Okay I'll see you then, you get better you hear? Alright, bye."

_Who was it?_

He remained silent. Oh come on! Where is Wally when I need him? I desperately miss my ability to communicate with another human being.

To my dismay, I learned everything about horses from my dad. He barely groomed me and through a western saddle on roughly. Gosh, note to self, be nicer to Aries. I have to hand it to that horse, he sure takes a lot of crap from me. Dad slipped the bridle on and fastened the bridle around my halter.

_You promise Laura you'll take care of her horse and you are too lazy to even take off the halter? You jerk, she is in a house full of abusive..._

I shook from that thought. I saw her cradled in her bead, clutching her knees to her chest and tears streamed her face. What if that really is where she is now? What if her dad is yelling at her in the other room and her mom stands and watches.

I snapped my head up when I felt it again. My body shook for a moment and then receded. Gosh that hurts! That's twice today that I felt myself try to change. Okay, every time I feel upset about Laura? No, that can't be. My first time I felt it, I was with Wally and I was happy. Okay then, what is it?

My dad took the reins and walked me to the arena where Brad was working.

"Alright you, if you hurt that little girl again I might have to take you out and whoop you to the bone myself. She is a sweet girl and she trusts you for some reason but I certainly do not."

_How dare you?! You are the stupid idiot who can't be around when everything is going on. You should be responsible here._

I tried to calm myself. I know its not my dad's fault but his speech left me shivering in anger. I need to stay calm. If I throw him off I might just "run away" according to him when Laura gets back. I wonder if dad would have it in him to shoot an innocent animal?

"Hey Brad I'm going to be riding on the edge. Don't hit me." My dad warned my brother as he mounted into the saddle. I didn't like him up there, it felt wrong. With Laura, it felt like I was carrying an angel.

"Gotcha." I watched my brother carry one of the mares over the jumps as dad forced me to walk along the side of the fences. For the first time as a horse I became jealous of another horse. I want to jump. I was having the time of my life last time, and now that Laura isn't on I don't have to worry about killing her.

Every time I tried increasing my speed my dad ripped on my mouth. I used all of my strength to refrain from throwing him off right here and now. I can't believe this is how I used to treat my horse. Having my dad be so rough with me only caused me to want Laura back now. I was trying very hard to keep the sight of her bruised body out of my mind but with my dad being so rough it was hard not to.

For thirty long minutes I dealt with my father's rough reins as I trotted and cantered with him. I behaved myself the entire time and that is harder than it sounds. He stabbed his legs into my sides and I quickly threw myself into a canter. Anything to escape that beating. He kept me on the side but my urge to move to that jump kept crawling through me. Eventually I decided I didn't care anymore. I moved sideways and as my dad tried to stop me and dug into the ground and leaped over the foot pole. I landed with a thud and my dad fell forward on my neck but he did not fall, but I'm sure that saddle horn sure got him.

As he grunted, I laughed to myself. Gotcha.

"Dang, he'd be good at the jump circuit. Has Lauren been working with him?" I felt dad readjust himself in the saddle.

"Uh, I have no idea. If your willing to find out be my guest."

"Alright let's switch. I'm not using that saddle though. You look like your in pain." My brother laughed as my dad dismounted. He groaned as he loosened the girth.

They switched saddles and my dad began riding the mare. Brad sat in the saddle and we immediately got into the jumps. This I didn't mind but I still found it slightly awkward that my brother was up there.

After another thirty minutes with my brother I was up to three feet. He walked me along the fence as I panted in exhaustion. I was glad that I had this lesson. Now when Laura comes I won't fear for her life as much as I would have.

My heart dropped when I thought of her. I need to see her.

Brad talked to my dad as he walked with his mare next to me. At first I enjoyed the company of another horse walking beside me until she snatched her teeth at me.

_Hey! Sheesh._

The mare didn't respond. I'm starting to wonder if it's just my horse I can talk to. No one else seems able too.

_You think your stronger than me just cause you're a stud? I don't think so._

Spoke too soon. My dad straightened her out until she kept her head turned slightly away from me. The two continued their conversation from above.

"So did you hear about Wally?" My ears perked.

"No why?"

"I got a call today, he told me he's in the hospital. He's sick with something and they can't quite put a name on it yet."

"Oh my gosh. I thought he was quite healthy for his age."

"That's what I thought."

"Any leads as to what it is? Cancer maybe?"

"Don't know son."

"Gosh, this has just been a horrible month. Laura's horse, my brother..." Did I just feel my brother, _my _brother turn to sorrow? We never got along. He sighed. "Now Wally."

I had a horrible pit in my stomach. All of this stress I have brought upon these guys, all because of my stupid pride.

_I'm sorry guys._

I know they can't hear me but I wished desperately that they'd understand. If I was human, I would have tears streamed down my face. This is something I am not used to either. I never cry, I find it as a weakness, but right now I realize how many things I have been wrong about in my life.

* * *

**_All Characters copyrighted to Soccermustang_**

**_

* * *

  
_**


	18. Trapped

**4/6/09- Alright I made this one nice and long, I finally made it to spring break so i actually have time to write these days xD so hope you like**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 17: Trapped

"I know, I know. I have been gone for a while, but I had a good reason. I was in the hospital."

_Yeah, explain Missy._

It was hard to be happy to see Laura standing before me with a small scar crossing the side of her forehead. I was overjoyed to see her but to see her injured was torture.

"You forgive me don't you?" She rubbed in between my eyes down my long face. I thought about that question for a moment. She had told my dad, four days ago that she would be here and she didn't return until now. However, my feelings for her over ruled my mind.

_Of course I do. Now, why were you in the hospital?_

Instead of answering me she hooked a halter over my face and lead me away. The halter was difficult to get used to, I don't think I will ever be comfortable with it while I am a horse.

_Hey, I asked you a question... Oh come on! What do you want me to spell it out for ya?_

The fact that I could not properly speak to people was driving me completely insane. I don't like being ignored like this all of the time. I tried to decipher what was running through Laura's mind this very moment but as usual she looked as she had for the past month, completely depressed.

I released a sigh and followed her out of the pasture. I am really getting sick of sleeping in this stupid pen every night. The day I become human again, I'm taking a twenty four hour nap in my bed.

When we reached the barn my brother was cleaning out stalls and my dad was writing something down on a scrap piece of paper at the old table. He looked up when he saw us enter. As soon as he saw Laura he had a huge smile on his face. I had never understood why it was he had liked her so much but now I can't understand why it took me so long to like her.

"Hey Laura, long time no see. How's the scratch?"

_Why don't you explain to him how you got that?_

"It's fine. The doctor gave me pain medication so I'm doing ok. Sorry I waited so long to come, my parents held me hostage." As my dad chuckled at her joke I had the strange feeling that she was not kidding.

"No problem. Hey did you hear about our trip?"

"Nope."

_Trip? What trip? You have never taken me anywhere out of this state and as soon as I disappear you plan a get away?!_

"I'm taking the family up to the Denver horse sale. I have a few horses that I'm trying to sell and everyone wanted to come so Wally will be coming to feed and take care of the animals until Sunday."

_Oh, ha have fun there. An entire of driving for one day at the sale, sounds so fun. _I snorted. Denver was an extremely far drive from here.

"Oh, hey what happened to Wally? My parents heard he was in the hospital."

"I wish I knew. The doctors can't even tell. Doesn't look too harmful at this point in time but they are afraid it's going to get worse."

"Oh gosh, poor Wally."

"Yeah, they released him a couple days ago and he assured me he wanted no pitty." My dad laughed."Boy I tell ya, that man could be on his deathbed and he'd still find a way out here to work with the horses."

Laura allowed a soft laugh to pass. She had begun to groom me while finding conversation with my dad. It felt good to feel clean again, it had been almost two weeks since the last time I had been groomed. Second thing I plan to do as human, take a shower.

"Well Laura, it was good seeing you but we have to go get ready. We will probably be leaving in twenty minutes."

"Alrighty, have fun." She waved good bye and finished grooming me. She left me for a moment only to return with an English saddle. "Hope you don't mind, but I had fun jumping."

_Oh sweet._

I know I may be a horse but I still feel the urge to show off in front of her. I have improved my jumping skills since the last time I had seen her and I wanted to make her happy.

I stood still for her as she tightened the english girth underneath my belly. The different saddles each had their faults. English may be way lighter but the girth pulled tight against my skin.

"Alright Kayak, show me your best."

She led me away from the barn and towards the arena. I noticed my father throwing luggage in the trunk of my mothers car. I had always hated sleeping in the hotels for these trips, I never felt comfortable in those rooms. Though, I'd take being human stuck in a hotel over being stuck in a pasture any day.

For at least five minutes she forced me to stay at a walk. About a month ago I would have thought she was stupid for this but now I just appreciate the time with her. After a while she finally allowed me to get moving and soon enough I was jumping once again.

The fact that I had the brain of a human helped these achievements greatly. If I could compete in any event I would make our ranch millions. As we worked my parents waved their final goodbyes before heading out. I watched them leave at a walk as they drove from the drive. For the first time, I felt a sense of pity in my heart. I may have Laura with me but I felt abandoned by my parents as they are leaving for three days.

A gentle touch on my neck shook me away from my thoughts. I noticed that I stopped moving and was staring at the road.

"You alright bud?" Her hands rubbed against my neck causing me to shiver. "Alright, don't throw me off, there is no one here to save me."

For the rest of our time together she kept me walking. I didn't like knowing that she was cooling me out, which also means that she will be leaving to go home soon. Then I will be completely alone. I never imagined this separation from my family would be so hard, and now that I have created feelings for Laura it is the exact same way. Only this time, I don't have my family to keep me company. I feel homesick and I'm already home.

If I was human I suppose I'd call this a mental breakdown. I felt the need to cry but I couldn't get the tears out. I feel so alone.

"Is something wrong Kayak? You are so weird today." She talked to me on the ground. I didn't even realize she was unhooking the girth.

_Please don't leave._

For a moment I considered running off and force her to stay and try to catch me, however that would only result in me losing her trust completely.

"I know I haven't been visiting often but I have a reason." I walked right by her side and kept my nose on her arm as she walked me out of the arena. "Things are going to great at home and..."

My ears twitched back to a sound coming from the drive. Wally wouldn't be here until tomorrow. Therefore, why am I hearing a truck pulling in the drive.

I stretched my neck around to search for the vehicle. The fact that I couldn't recognize the massive white truck only gave him the verdict that whoever this person was they should not be here. I moved my eyes to Laura for a clue but when I saw her face full of fear my entire body tensed. She stood completely still as if a deer in headlights.

I stared at the man who was now approaching us on foot. As he got closer the face got clearer.

"Well, hello there Miss. Scott. Where's the family?" The way Rick chuckled made me shiver. I remember his words and it's obvious that he wasn't lying about his wish to eliminate the source of his jail embarrassment. By the way Laura stood in shock, it was obvious she felt exactly what I was thinking.

"What do you want Rick?" The tremble in her voice gave her fear away. I pinned my ears back to warn him not to step closer.

"Ah Chomper, it's a pleasure to see you as well. I was just passing by, and thought I ought to stop in. Your dad called, said you were visiting your horse and after I saw your friends leave I thought you might want some company."

He's been watching us. Great so now we have a murderer and a stalker. Despite my desperate want to rip this man apart I know how to keep my priorities in the right order.

_Larua get on._

I nuzzled her arm.

_Come on! _

As if she could read my mind she dropped the saddle she was carrying and leaped on my back. She held me back with the reins that were still connected to my dismay. I want her out and she is complicating this plan.

"Now come on Laura, you know running never solves anything."

"Good luck finding us."

Before he could come any closer she kicked my sides and turned me towards the woods. I immediately took off towards our cliff. Besides Laura, I am the only person who knows about the cliff. I could feel Laura checking her shoulder for any sign of followers. Of course, there was no one to be found.

I strode off onto the secret trail that lead to our cliff. Laura had dropped the reins several minutes ago and allowed me to lead. I assured myself that there was no way he could find us back here on foot so I slowed down to a comfortable pace for her.

"I can't believe this is happening." As soon as I heard the crack in her voice I immediately settled to a walk. I didn't have to look at her face to know that she was crying.

When I reached the cliff she jumped down and headed to my face. I stood still for her while she unhooked the bridle and slid it off.

"You have to go Kayak." She rubbed my face. "Where ever it is you came from go back. I can't keep you anymore."

_What are you talking about Laura? We'll be fine._

"Whether I go back or stay here there's no way I'm going to survive more than a day."

_Don't say that. I won't let him touch you._

"I just can't wrap my mind around this. What did I do? I don't recall doing something bad enough to deserve this."

I tried to think of a solution but as long as I stay a horse, I don't see many options. I need to be able to tell her to stay with me, not as an animal but as a person. I could protect her if I changed.

_I need to change._

I spoke to myself. I squinted my eyes and thought of only one thing, my face, my two arms and legs, _my _body. I felt my body shiver but only from trying so hard. When nothing happened I sighed and opened my eyes. When I saw her my heart bounced in my chest.

_What are you doing?_

She stood looking down the canyon wall. I took slow steps towards her, trying not to startle her into anything rational.

_Laura, that won't solve anything. Fight for your life don't give up because of that idiot._

As soon I was close enough I took no chances in waiting for her next move. My teeth clasped to her baggy sweatshirt and I pulled her back slow enough to not hurt her.

"Ow, Kayak! Stop!" She tried ripping her arm back but I refused until she was far away from the edge. "What's gotten into you?!"

_Girl do you really think your horse is gonna let you kill yourself. _

"Well, at least now I can say one of my bruises is really from my horse." That statement hit me hard. I didn't want to think about what other bruises lay under her sweatshirt.

_I'm sorry._

I didn't want any comparisons with her so called father especially because of bruises.

"So what's going to happen now?" She asked while rubbing my neck.

_You do know that horses can't talk right?_

She sighed and walked away. I watched cautiously as she moved towards a tree to sit against it. I tried thinking of an answer to her question. Unfortunately I have no idea what options she has now. She is being stalked by a psychopath, her dads an abusive jerk and her mom is just plain stupid.

I stood close enough to her to provide some body heat. Almost an hour passed since we left home and I could smell the rain coming. There is no way she will be able to survive the night out here. The nights are always cold and the rain only makes it worse. The only problem is we have no idea where Rick is and we might not be able to get away next time.

The entire time we were out here I never took my eyes off of her. She just sat against the tree thinking about who knows what. Forcing myself to stay put to allow her to think to herself, it killed me not to move closer.

When she finally moved her eyes to look at me she smiled.

"You are strangely loyal for a horse. You just sit there." She started to get up and she walked towards me. "What are you thinking about?"

_If only you knew._

For a moment I wondered about what it would be like if she knew I was Kayak. Would she leave me completely and stop coming back?

She rubbed softly around my face. We both jumped when we heard the snap in the woods. I turned my head in the direction of the sound.

"Oh no," She whispered beside me.

We stood together as the forms emerged from the forest. First was the padding of four paws against the leaves. The huge German Shepherd panted as he found what he came for. I followed the leash to look into his eyes. The man chuckled.

"Found ya'."


	19. Solutions

**4/23/09- Alright, I made a very long chapter for all of you readers who enjoy this story. I think you will like this one, i had alot of fun writing it so woot. Please review and thank you to those who have been reviewing I really appreciate it. :)**

* * *

Chapter 18: Solutions

I warned the dog to keep its distance by baring my teeth and snarling. I never knew a horse could make such an evil sound but it sure comes in handy. Rick only laughed.

"Boy am I going to enjoy killing you Chomper," I smirked at him. If his only weapon was a German Shepherd, bring it on. "So Lauren, hope you don't take any of this personally but you had it coming."

I glanced at Laura for a moment and felt my heart drop to the deepest pit of my chest. She was terrified, I don't even think she is able to move. I wanted her to know that I would protect her but she obviously had no faith in any survival at this moment. I directed my attention back to Rick and the snarling shepherd.

"Your dad wants time with your mom and since your still around she refuses to leave with him. You knowhow frustrating that must be for him." I did everything in my power to keep my feet planted before getting us both killed by being rational. "Plus, because of you I spent several years in prison. Girl you created a whole mess for yourself haven't ya'?"

He took one step towards her and I pawed the ground furiously. As most people would, he stopped in his tracks for a moment when he saw a huge angry beast before him. But that didn't stop him for long at all, he continued towards us. I felt Laura take a step back but she never ran. She must have figured that she had no chances of escape anyways.

"Ah don't worry about this little guy, he only eats when I tell him too. I'll make him way until your out." I took my chance when he got too close to Laura. I ignored the dog and lunged right for Rick himself.

I don't know how it happened, but I was on the ground. I heard Laura's cries of terror at the sight in front of her. My chest burned from the invisible fire that surrounded me. I lifted my head to view the damage. A line of blood formed a diagonal across my chest. I looked back to Rick and saw the blade covered in blood, my blood. I felt a jolt of disappointment. I should have known that he had more than the dog.

"Leave him alone!" I struggled to stand and run to protect Laura but before I could get to my feet Rick unleashed the shepherd. I balanced myself out and prepared for the attack from the dog but I found that he was already on me. I reached my neck to try and grab him but he quickly made his way away from my teeth. I felt his teeth clamp into my hind leg. I winced as I tried to kick him off but he had quick movements.

I heard Laura's screams for help in the background. I quickly glanced at our surroundings and noticed that the dog had herded me away from my love.

_Laura!_

A set of teeth clamped into my neck. This damn dog would not quit. I rose my body on my hind legs and slammed the dog to the ground. Before the dog was fully on all fours slammed one hoof against its body. My heart dropped when I heard the yelp and the dog laid still on the ground. I stared at the dog, he was still breathing but that blow was enough to give him a few broken ribs, maybe even leg. I couldn't kill this animal, he only followed his masters orders and for it he gets punished.

"The hell!?" My eyes shot to the sound. Rick stood ten feet away, staring at his motionless dog. I tried my best to ignore the dogs cries and I turned to face Rick. This time I was ready. "I don't know whos worse, the damn girl who is responsible for my ruined reputation or her dumb ass horse."

_Give me your best shot._

It would end tonight, Laura's troubles, her fear, her danger would end even if I die trying. Rick stalked towards me with the blade in hand. To my advantage he held out his arm ready to strike.

_Hey Rick, one hint. My body may be horse..._

I clasped my teeth around his arm, avoiding the knife. He screamed in pain as he dropped the blade. I pulled hard on his arm until he fell to the ground.

_But my mind is human._

For one final time, I stood on my two hind legs. I closed my eyes to avoid the picture and my legs slammed to the ground, though the hooves never reached the grass. I kept my eyes glued shut, I have never held a good stomach for gore. The feeling of Rick's blood covering my legs was making me sick as it is. I stepped away from the body before opening my eyes to make sure it was over.

My body shivered as my eyes ran over the body. Not a single muscle moved, his body spilled his own blood, and his eyes held a dead stare.

I'm a murderer. I took his life, but for the safety of another.

_Laura!_

Panic ran through my body. Where was she? What happened to her? As I stared in the direction of which I left her another figure emerged. A huge wolf stared at the sight before him. His black fur shined in the oncoming nightfall. He lifted his head to the sky and howled.

I was certain this was it for me. The pain of my chest reminded me of the amount of blood pouring from my wound. The wolf only left more obstacles for me. I was certain the wolf would have several others following it soon enough. The eyes glared at me.

_I'm sorry Laura. I'm so sorry. Wherever you are. I messed up, long ago, you never deserved the crap I gave you. Now its too late._

My legs brought me to the ground. At first I thought it was from the overwhelming pain that radiated from my chest but this was a different feeling. I've felt this only once before, one time in my life that I had felt this horrible pain. I embraced the pain as I felt my bones transforming. My hooves shrunk to fingernails, my legs became arms, my face became flat, and my entire body transformed itself into the body I once knew.

I collapsed to the ground gasping for air. I laid flat on my back as my chest rose up and down. I looked at my body, I ran my hands across the still opened wound along my chest. I looked at my fingers, my toes and I laid my head back to the ground for a moment. I stared up to the sky and for the first time in over a month I could use my voice.

"Thank you God." I forced myself to rise up, ignoring how weak I was at this moment. I looked around for the wolf that I had seen just minutes ago, but it was gone, along with Rick's body. My eyes widened in both fear and confusion at the folded clothes before me. These were Rick's clothes but how in the hell did they end up like this.

Despite the confusion I held I knew there were more important things to worry about. I quickly put on the pair of jeans and the old white T-shirt. I then noticed the weak shepherd that still clung to its life. I felt guilt rising and I knelt beside the injured dog.

"I'm sorry," I ran my fingers through the fur. It whimpered at my touch. "I know. Help me find her, please. I will take care of you after that but I need your help right now."

With whatever strength I had left I gently lifted the dog to its feet. It definitely had broken ribs and at least one broken leg. I helped him walk the best I could but it didn't look like it made much of a difference. The dog was in extreme pain but there was nothing I could do until I got him home.

We slowly walked up the hill that it had herded me down from earlier. I tried to ignore the pain from my chest as the fabric ran against the open cut. We finally made it up the hill and I noticed Laura's body lying near the cliff edge. She didn't move and no sound came from her.

"No," I felt my body shaking now. "I can't be too late, not now!"

I finally am human again. I would have been able to help her, but it doesn't even matter anymore. I left the dog limping as I weakly jogged to her. As soon as I reached her I collapsed to my knees. My hand reached out to touch her neck. Immediate relief flooded my body when I felt the soft heartbeat against my fingers.

"Thank you, thank you." I lifted her body in a forced hug. She was unconscious and I needed to get her home before the rain comes. I quickly looked over her body to make sure there was no serious injuries. I found one cut above her eye across her forehead. It didn't look life threatening but it made me nervous about her condition. The cut was not made from the knife but obviously it was something hard enough for her to get knocked unconscious. Rick obviously had not finished with her, I figure he heard the dog's cries and decided to save it first.

"Stay with me Laura, I'm bringing you home." I took her body in my arms and weakly trudged off towards home. I whistled for the dog and it obeyed my orders as it limped on three legs behind me.

It didn't take long for the sun to fall completely under the horizon. The moon gave me some light but I struggled to see the trail. Being completely weak from today's events didn't help that I had to carry Laura all the way back to the ranch. I have been walking for probably thirty minutes and I had just crossed the halfway point. I didn't think I'd be able to make it home. My legs felt heavy and I struggled to keep Laura up as her body pressed into the gash in my chest.

I could hear the thunder in the background growing closer. It would be raining within minutes. If I didn't get her home before it rained, I was pretty sure we would both die out here. I could barely walk as it is and with the temperature coming dangerously close to freezing.

Despite all the signs telling me that we were going to die I continued home. I had to make it. I began hearing things like horses whinnies and hoof beats.

"This damn cold is getting to me." This made me stop and think. I looked at Laura, she had a thick sweatshirt on but I was certain that it wasn't enough. I gently laid her on the ground for a moment and removed Rick's coat. I know this is probably the last thing she wants to keep her warm but if it was enough to save her life we both would have to deal with it. I gently put the coat on when I heard the hoof beats getting closer.

Now I became extremely frightened. They weren't in my head, they couldn't be. I never did find Rick's body, what if... No there was no way he was alive. Whoever it was riding knew where to find Laura, and that means its no friend of mine. I brought Laura's head to my chest and hugged her close. If they were going to touch her it would have to be over my dead body.

I stared in the direction of the sound and waited for them to come into view. All of a sudden, about twenty feet away the sound stopped. I could faintly make out the shape of a horse but nothing else.

"Hello?" The horse's ears perked at the sound of my voice, but still no sign of a human. There weren't wild horses in this area, so where did this horse come from? I softly clicked my tongue to see if the horse would come. The horse bobbed its head and walked to me. "Aries!"

I laid Laura's head back to the ground for just a minute as I walked to examine my horse. When I noticed the bridle with reins tied around its neck my head filled with confusion.

"What the heck?" I patted his neck. I decided I would try and figure all of this out later, I had to get Laura home. I hugged Aries' neck. "Thank you bud. Oh my gosh I'm so glad I can't understand you."

I untied the reins from his neck and brought him over to Laura.

"Stay here and guard her." Aries just looked at me as if he was telling me to hurry the heck up. I jogged in the woods to find something to stand on. I normally would have no trouble mounting the horse myself but it would be difficult with Laura. I picked up a boulder small enough for me to carry.

As soon as I got back to Aries I set the boulder by his side. I looked around for the straggling dog and found him laying down. This time when I whistled for him, he did not come. I felt guilt rise throughout my chest when the dog laid its head down. He was giving up. Normally I wouldn't have stopped until the dog was home but right now I had to take care of Laura.

I took her limp body and balanced myself on the boulder. I moved her so she was sitting on Aries. I kept one arm around her as I pushed myself up behind her. When we were set on his back I laid her head against my chest and held her tightly with one arm, with the reins in my free hand.

"Alright Aries, come on. Get us home." I was careful on turning him but as soon as we hit a straightaway I kicked him into a gallop. I was no doctor and I did not know how much more of this coldness that Laura cold take.

After ten minutes of riding I spotted the outdoor flood light that automatically went on at night. I used to hate that light since it disturbed my sleep for several nights but now I looked at it as a safety. The rain began to poor when we exited the woods, no longer being covered by trees. I rode Aries in a trot until we were safely inside the barn. It was extremely dark in the barn but I managed to find my way.

I dismounted from Aries, keeping one arm up to help balance Laura and I swooped her down into my arms once I was dismounted. I felt bad, knowing Aries basically hated me, but I leaned Laura on the ground against the barn walls and throw Aries in a stall without thanking him with grooming. I quickly removed his bridle and left him in the barn. I softly took Laura back in my arms and carried her to the house.

I never thought I would be so happy to be stepping through our front door again. I flipped on the lights and immediately rushed up to my room. I made sure Laura wasn't too wet before I removed Rick's coat and placed her on my bed. I brought the covers over her and left to fetch more covers for her.

When I came back she was in the same position when I left her. I wondered if I should call a doctor, I didn't know the first thing about nursing and Laura has been unconscious for nearly an hour. I covered her with the extra blankets and touched her neck once again. Like last time I felt her soft heartbeat.

"Please, wake up. Laura if you can hear me, please just do something." I waited for a response. When I didn't get one I decided it was time to call a professional. Then just as I was leaving I heard the faintest sound from her mouth and I watched as she curled her body closer to her chest. "Laura?"

I stayed with her for at least ten minutes before I determined she was fine. She was breathing much deeper now and she seemed to be in a deep comfortable sleep. I like seeing her like this, so content with life, not having to worry that someone is ready to hurt her. I brought one hand and cupped her face. Her sleep did not seemed bothered by it but it cause my heart to heat up. I had to remember what I had vowed as a horse.

"I can't be with you," I whispered extremely low. "You deserve so much better."

I removed my hand and forced myself out of the room. I shut the light off behind me to allow her to be more comfortable. I silently removed the tears that had come dangerously close to my eyelashes. I deserved every ounce of this pain.

I walked into the bathroom to clean up my own wound. I removed the shirt I was wearing and throw it on the floor. I looked in the mirror and stood shocked at the huge gash formed across my chest. The bleeding stopped but the cut was full of dirt and mud. As much as I knew it would hurt I removed the peroxide from the cupboard. I stepped into the tub with Ricks pants still on, not caring what the peroxide would do to them.

My breathing increased as I tried to prepare myself for the oncoming pain.

"It's going to clean it, it's going to clean it." I poured the container from the top of my chest and let it run down. My hands clenched into fists as the peroxide did its job. I left it sit, bubbling until I had enough. I began running the shower and decided to finally get that shower I had been waiting for.

When I finished my long shower I wrapped a towel around, and went into my brothers room to retrieve clothes. As soon as I was dressed I picked up every piece of clothing I had borrowed from Rick and through them in the thrash bin in the garage. I heard the whimpering of a dog and I jumped to look for the sound. I opened the door leading outside of the garage and noticed the noble shepherd waiting for my help, like I promised.

"Hey buddy, you made it!" I went to the dogs side and pet his neck. Now I was worried about the dog, I was no vet either. "Come on, let's get you inside."

I lead the dog to the kitchen and left him there while I fetched a pillow. I ordered the dog to lay down and he did as he was told. I felt helpless and all I could do is kneel beside him and give him comforting touches along his body.

"What do I do?" I sighed.

"Go take care of Laura, I'll help him." I don't know where he came from but I nearly screamed when Wally's sudden voice came from behind me.

"Geeze! You want to give me a heads up?! This is my house!" Wally only laughed at me.

"So enjoying human life yet?" His words hit me. I was human again. The nightmare was over. I looked at my hands and rejoiced at the movement of my ten fingers. "I knew you'd figure it out on your own."

"What? Yeah, kinda cutting it close there don't ya' think?" I couldn't believe that he risked both me and Laura's lives over teaching me a stupid lesson.

"I didn't cut anything close, it was you who needed to decide." I calmed myself down a little bit. If he never did this, I'd first of all be dead, second of all even if I did live I most likely would've have kept being an ass to Laura causing her to go over the edge. "The first time changing back is always the hardest. It's nearly impossible until you realize all of the flaws that got you in the situation in the first place."

"Wally I learned that long ago and I still waited to change."

"Only you think that." I stared at him in confusion. "Kevin, what happened before you changed today?"

I thought hard. Too much happened.

"I was... hanging out with Laura just this morning as a horse and then Rick came and..." I stared at Wally when I remember the nights events. "Wally I killed him! Me, I killed a man!"

"What do you think would have happened if you hadn't?" I though for a sec.

"He probably would have killed her, along with me." I lowered my head to the ground when I thought about how close I came to losing her.

"Yes, and what do you think would have happened if you were human before Rick was taken care of?" I brought my eyes back to him.

"Are you telling me that because of Rick's death I changed back? I needed to murder someone before it was possible for me to change? You really think you taught me something good!"

"Kevin. You changed because you solved everything that needed to be solved while you were a horse. There was no way you would have gotten rid of that man as a human, you almost died with surprise horse attacks." He chuckled which only angered me more. "Anyway, when Rick was gone your spirit learned that it was done and you were ready. Do you really think you would have brought her back safely as a horse?"

I knew that there was no way I could have possibly brought Laura home as a horse. It was difficult enough carrying an unconscious girl several miles to get home.

"I still don't understand. None of these things comprehended at the time..."

"Yes, your mind didn't comprehend it, but your heart did." It was my turn to laugh.

"Alright, I'll leave it at that old cliche. I'm going to go see if Laura's okay."

"Good." When I reached the stairs I decided to step up and say something that I knew needed to be said.

"Hey Wally," He stopped working on the dog and turned his eyes to me. I swallowed hard. "Thanks."

My heart lit up when I saw his smile and then he nodded for me to carry on. I turned back up the stairs to go help Laura. It hurt to know that I couldn't be with her but I made a promise to keep her safe, and that was a promise I was going to keep.


	20. Truths

Chapter 19: Truths

I squeezed the rag before gently cleaning the cut on Laura's forehead. I tried hard not to wake her. It was now three in the morning but I find myself unable to sleep until Laura wakes up. The German Shepherd laid by my feet completely healed. I still don't know how he did it, but it was like nothing had ever happened to the dog.

Her wound didn't look life threatening but I still treated it carefully. From beside me, the dog yawned and at the same time whined.

"Shh," I scolded the dog for being loud. It just looked at me and snorted. I laughed slightly, knowing that a day ago I would have done the same thing.

"Kevin?" I tensed at the very soft whisper. I turned to see Laura's confused and drowsy eyes stationed on me. "Am I dead?"

I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"No Laura, your not dead." I whispered in reply. She still looked confused.

"My dreams have never been this real before." I sighed. She really was confused.

"Laura, your not dead or dreaming. I'm here." As proof I put my hand on the side of her face.

"No, what?!" She was fully awake now. She looked terrified as she slapped my hand away and backed into the headboard. "You... your... I saw the blood... your dead!"

"No Laura, I..." I thought about how to explain my situation but I came up blank. What was I supposed to tell her, hey I was your horse for the past month? "I really, really can't explain right now, but I never died."

"But the blood..."

"Yes, I did fall, but I did not die." I tried to explain calmly but she still shivered on the bed. I couldn't blame her, I probably would have done the same thing if I suddenly saw the person who was deemed dead for over a month. "Look, I'll explain more in the morning but right now..."

"No, I want to know now! What the hell happened?!" If possible her eyes spread wider than usual. "Oh my God."

"What? What's wrong?" I reached for her arm but she flinched away.

"I almost... I was followed by a man... he tried to..." She looked at me.

"Laura, Rick is dead. He won't ever hurt you again."

"How do you know his name?" Oops, she got me there.

"I um... uhh..." She stared at me waiting for an answer. "Look I promise I'll explain everything in the morning..."

"No Kev! I wake up in your bed, I thought you were dead a month ago, My horse is..." Her stare increased intensity as she looked at me. "Where is he?"

"Who?" I tried playing dumb but she seemed to look right through me.

"Kayak! Rick hurt him, where is he?! I know you know!" I broke the stare by staring at the ground. I guess there was no way around this.

"He's gone." I dared to look in her eyes only to regret it. Tears threatened at the edge of her eyes.

"Why is this happening to me?" She put her head in her hands. As much as I wanted to comfort her, I knew she didn't want it from me. She remembers me the way I left her, as a human, a complete jerk.

"I'm sorry," I am finally able to say it, though now it's to late to apologize. I was responsible for her horse's death, I caused her stressed that she didn't deserve, and because of me she has to mourn for a horse that truly never existed. She continued to sob quietly in her hands.

"Look, Laura please just get some sleep and I'll explain everything in the morning. It might make more sense then." Or you might just think I have gone completely crazy.

"Lauren." She scolded through clenched teeth. I forgot, I am the only person who calls her Laura, and she hates it.

"Sorry." By the look on her face I don't think she believes my sorrow. "Look, Laur... Lauren, please just get some rest. If you need me, I'll either be outside with my horse or check the couch a little later. I'll leave the dog here with you."

She then just noticed the dog. She stared at it angrily.

"That thing killed Kayak!" I held back a chuckle. There was no way I would have allowed this dog to be the death of me.

"Laura, gosh sorry, Lauren I promise you that the dog did not kill Kayak." She shot her eyes to me. Dang it, I'm not supposed to know that. "Again, I'll explain in the morning."

She looked at me ready to protest, but she decided not to fight and she gently nodded. She laid her head back against my pillow and I got up to walk out of the room.

"Goodnight." I shut the light of and closed the door behind me.

I made my way to the barn to give Aries some well needed attention. I need to think of how to solve this mess. It would have been nice for Wally to give me some advice on the count of it's his fault but unfortunately he left a couple hours ago.

"Hey bud," I brought the grooming tools into the stall. I tried to mimic Laura's movements like she has with me. Grooming was more of a massage to me and I want Aries to feel the same.

"What do you think Aries?" I talked to him as I groomed his body. "What am I going to tell everyone?"

The horse nickered softly. I assumed it was a result from the brush.

"Yeah, your so helpful." I chuckled. "I mean I wasn't even able to tell you what happened, how in the heck am I going to tell my parents, Laura and everyone at school. I can't just go out and say I was a horse for a month."

Aries turned his head to look at me.

"They would think I'm crazy. I won't lie, I thought I was crazy that first week." I sighed. I put the brush down and walked over to his head. I rubbed his neck softly. "I'm sorry I was such an ass to you. You really are a good horse, I'm just a bad owner."

I looked around me in the small indoor arena that was part of the barn. I opened Aries door to let him roam for a while. I made sure the barn door was shut and I scooped out some extra grain for Aries to eat. Now that I am human again, I am going to spoil my horse rotten. If I ever become a horse again, I want to hear him tell me that I'm the best owner there is.

As Aries ate in the middle of the arena I sat myself down leaning against the stall door. I continued my thoughts on how to explain to everyone what had happened to me. There was no way the truth would be told this time. The only trick now is finding a story that qualifies.

"Come on, think." I sighed.

"Okay Aries, how does this sound?" The horse continued to eat his grain. "I ran away, feeling stressed, I got lost, played survivor for a month and then found my way home. Sound good?"

"Sounds great." I jumped at the voice that came from nowhere. I looked to see Laura leaning against the barn only a few feet away. "Now what's the truth?"

"My God! What are you, a friggen ghost!" I regained my normally breathing as I noticed she was laughing at me.

"Wow, I scared the impossible Kevin. Amazing." I didn't know whether or not to take it as an insult but I did my best to ignore it.

"What are you doing down here anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep." She moved to sit in the sand across from me. Her eyes never left me. "Kev?"

"What?" I looked at her, nervous to talk to her. What would I tell her? She already knew the fake story.

"Kevin, what happened? Don't tell me you ran away and played survivor. I'm not stupid no matter how much you think I am."

"Laura I never..."

"Lauren!" I winced, I was going to have to get used to Lauren.

"Sorry. Seriously though, you won't believe me." I stared in her eyes.

"I won't believe you? That's your excuse? Look I know you don't like me but..."

"Laura I don't..."

"Don't you think I deserve to know how one minute I'm staring the living devil in the face and the next I wake up in your bed... Wow that sounds wrong, I wake up in your house." She corrected herself. I pondered her words for a moment. She deserved to know the truth, that I wasn't arguing, it was the problem of me becoming crazy after I admit to Laura what really happened.

"Laur... Lauren, it's not that I don't want to tell you, its that..." I begged with my eyes for her to drop it. When she didn't budge I sighed. "You'll think I'm some insane person and then I'll end up in a clinic."

"Kev, seriously, let's hear it." She was getting frustrated. An idea struck me.

"What do you think happened?" I smiled. I truly wanted to hear her thoughts on this subject.

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"I'm curious to know your thoughts."

"Well I've been curious to know what the hell happened to you for the past month!" Her eyes reddened from tears that threatened to leave. This was my weakness, I hated seeing those tears. "Do you know what your disappearance did?"

I glued my eyes to her. Was she admitting what she had said weeks ago to her horse, to me now? I watched her sad eyes.

"Yes. I do." She softly shook her head.

"No, no you don't. Your mother hasn't had a full night of sleep since that day, your brother talks about the good times with Kev, your dad has trouble training because all he can think about is you!" This was a soft spot for her. Her parents were both idiots, and I wasn't appreciating mine. Even my brother was effected by this mess. I let my head hit the wood behind me as I tried to sigh my nerves away.

"Laura, this is just... so fiction," I paused for a minute.

"I'm not following you." I lifted my head to look at her. She wasn't going to give in.

"Alright look, I'll tell you the truth but you need to promise me something." I waited for her response. All she did was nodded. "I'm going to tell my parents, and my brother, and every other soul I know a lie. I will tell you the truth cause your right, you deserve it, but no one else can know. I need you to give me that much."

She watched me for signs of humor. I have to admit I must have looked pretty ridiculous myself, hey I've only been a human for a few hours. She sighed.

"Fine. I swear I won't tell them." I smiled, thankful she was at least a little reasonable.

"Alright, look Wally told you guys I jumped, I did not jump. My life's not that bad. I was riding Aries and he spooked at something behind us and we both went down. So yes, the blood you saw was mine, and possibly Aries but I didn't die. At least I don't think I did. I just remember waking up in the middle of nowhere and Wally was chanting nonsense over me. Then I saw him, Aries, he was grazing like nothing had ever happened, and that's crap cause I saw his body before I blacked out. He was dead."

I watched Laura as she pondered what I was saying. She was obviously coming up blank with any sense at all.

"Anyway, after I saw him I felt the worse pain I had ever felt in my life, it was like my bones were exploding inside of me." I shivered, remembering the immense pain that I had gone through during my first transformation. "I've been here this entire time, you guys just didn't know it."

After a moment of silence from both of us Laura decided I wasn't getting out of the rest of the story.

"So... you've been following me? Stalking me? What?" She waited for an answer.

"No, Laura," I chuckled but immediately stopped when I noticed her death stare. "Lauren. You actually have been hanging out with me for quite a while. Voluntarily. I'm not a creeper, though you may think I am."

"Ok, you are confusing the hell out of me Kev." I locked my eyes with hers.

"Laura, I've been your best friend for this past month." She tensed for a moment. I even thought she figured it out but then she furrowed her brow in confusion. I knew what she was thinking, but she was not believing it. "You told me, about your dumbass parents, about your life, how you feel like everything was your fault, and you told me... you said how much you missed me."

Now she was freaked out. She didn't move but she stared at me with frightened eyes. It still looked as if she was arguing the truth.

"What are you thinking?" I asked in a whisper.

"I'm thinking you're a damn stalker! To be honest I'm a little scared." I frowned at that.

"I'm not gonna hurt you. Like I said before, you told me these things voluntarily. I'm not a stalker."

"Than how do you know these things?!" She looked as if she was on the edge of tears.

"Laura you remember who you told those things too right?"

She only nodded.

"Kayak's not dead, Lauren."

"Then where the heck is he." She couldn't control the tears any longer, as they slowly and silently ran down her cheeks.

"I am Kayak."


	21. Reality

Chapter 20: Reality

Minutes passed as we sat in silence staring at each other. I watched Laura struggling to comprehend what I told her. It was difficult to decipher what exactly was running through her head. I couldn't think of anything to say and in a result we sat here for minutes waiting for her move. I normally wouldn't mind waiting for her response, however I needed to know what she was thinking. Did she think I'm crazy, or just plain stupid?

"May I ask what your thinking?" I whispered to her. She shook her head in confusion. She wasn't telling me no, it was more of a confused and uncertain look. I looked down to my hands.

"Kevin I'm confused." I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Really, I couldn't tell." I stopped when I noticed her glare towards me. "Sorry."

"So are you telling me..." She stopped and continued her confused stare. "What?"

"I told you I'd sound crazy."

"Wait, back up." I waited for her to continue. "So you think you were a horse for the past month?"

"No, I was a horse for the past month." I found patience was easier to handle from the practice I have had while being Kayak. She chuckled once and looked around.

"Kevin, seriously, quit being an idiot and just tell me where you were." I sighed, knowing I would never get this through her head.

"Well, I guess I could go back to the survivor theory." Wrong thing to say Kev. Now she looked completely irritated.

"What happened to 'Lauren deserves the truth?'" I tried to argue but she fumed before me. She began pacing slightly in front of me. "You know, you could at least try not to be such an ass! Don't give me some bull on how you ran around for a month and especially as a horse, tell me where the hell you went!"

I pushed myself up to my feet. I felt hurt that she didn't believe me but I forced myself to forgive her for it. Who would believe that story?

"Look, I know okay, I know it sounds crazy but it's true." I plead with my eyes for her to believe me, however she wouldn't budge.

"Oh yeah? How? How did you turn yourself into this horse?" She asked sarcastically.

"Lauren..."

"Show me. Prove it."

"What? I can't show..."

"Why not?! You've been a horse for a month, why can't you show me now?"

"Cause it took me a month to figure out how change back?! It was a onetime deal."

"With who? Wally?! Kevin, are you hearing yourself?! You sound..." I waited for her answer.

"Insane?" I tried.

"Yes!"

"I know. Okay, I know."

"Then tell me the truth."

"It is the..." I stopped and calmed myself down. Arguing with her would get us nowhere. "I don't know how he did it but he did. He healed the dog too! I mean that thing was basically dead and now..."

I stopped when she rolled her eyes. She looked down at the ground and sighed.

"I should go." She said barely over a whisper. My heart dropped, she hated me so much she'd rather be with her abusive father.

"Where?" I wouldn't let it happen, that man almost caused her death once I will not allow it to happen again. "Your not goin' home."

"Oh excuse me! Since when do you make my decisions?"

"Lauren, your father's 'friend' almost sent you to your death bed and you think your going back to him? Not to mention all the crap he put you through!"

"How do you know that?!" I sighed and glared back at her. It wasn't intending to be mean, It was to remind her that I already gave her that answer. "You know I probably would have believed you if you told me you were some secret spy sent to find out my life for some reason. Then again, my life isn't that interesting so maybe I wouldn't believe you."

Her sarcasm hit me hard. There is no way I'll get her to believe me. Why should she? I've been a jerk to her since we've met, it's a story told in a gosh darn fairytale and it makes me sound friggen creepy.

"Well, I'm gonna go." She began to turn and leave but somehow my hand reached out to stop her. Even I was surprised by my sudden move, but Laura looked at me with terrified eyes. It wasn't my intention to scare her but I couldn't let her leave, not to him.

"Please," I fought back the tears but they were noticeable as they hung at the edge. "Don't go back there. I can't..."

I breathed in to help bring back the tears. I waited a month to talk to her, tell her everything I felt but now I can't. No, remember your not supposed to tell her, I'm no good for her. My head dropped to the ground as I slowly released her arm from my grip. I sighed as I let her go, but I noticed she didn't leave. Instead I felt her slowly take a step towards me and her hand softly grabbed mine. I didn't know what kind of affection she was showing me but several emotions flooded my body.

"Look, I promise I'll be okay." I brought my eyes to hers. I scowled at her which explained that it wasn't good enough. "I'll even call you in the morning, if that makes you feel any better."

To be honest, it wasn't enough, but it was all I was going to get. Before I could answer, her arms were around me and her face was buried in my neck. It took me of guard for a moment before I returned the hug by putting my arms around her.

I didn't know exactly what to think but I selfishly enjoyed her comfort.

"I'm glad your okay," I heard her whisper into my neck. I leaned my chin against her hair.

"Me too." She slowly pulled away. She glanced in my eyes before turning to leave. I watched her go.

"Laura," I stopped her before she walked out the door. "If I don't get a phone call before ten, I will be stopping by."

She frowned before she turned to leave. Soon enough her engine started and slowly drifted away. I heard Aries pawing from the middle of the arena.

"Alright Aries, I'm sorry to do this but I need to go take care of something." I walked him back to his stall before turning the lights of and heading into the house. When I walked in the dog was eating dog food out of a bowl.

"What the hell?" I noticed a small piece of paper on the counter. I picked it up to read it.

_Kevin,_

_I left a bag of dog food in the garage, take care of the dog and my horse. I will be gone for a week, personal reasons. _

_Wally_

"That guy has issues." Like he knew what I was saying, the dog rose his head to glare at me. "Hey, just because he's nice doesn't make it not true."

The dog snorted and went back to his food.

"Alright, now the hard part." I walked to pick up the phone. It was about three in the morning but this call had to be made now. I waited as the phone dialed.

"_Hello?" _I heard the voice on the other end. _"Who is this?"_

"Mom, I'm home."


	22. Family

**Ok, I know this is a really short chapter but hey its an update right? I have been working on books i plan to publish lately so have been concentrating on those but I do plan to finish this story and for those who really want Trusting the Enemy to get updated I am working on that as well. I'm trying to go through this story to figure out my timeline again cause i have forgotten how long everything has been and such so bare with me if i get the time frame wrong, its really not that big a deal. Thanks. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

SSChapter 21:

I stood on the porch with my new German Shepherd as my parent's vehicle pulled in the driveway. My mom was the first one out and within seconds she was up on the porch with her arms tightly around my body. She was crying. I noticed my dad who was standing a few feet away, staring at me. I knew he was just trying to be tough, but I could see tears threatening to escape his eyes. To my amazement my brother came up and put his arms around both my mom and me. Soon enough my dad joined in. Normally, I wouldn't have allowed this, but I had missed my family and I wanted to be near them.

"What happened?" My mother cried into my shoulder. "Wally told us that…"

"I know," I began. "I did fall, but it wasn't on purpose. I kind of got lost out there."

I wondered if they would really believe that story. I had been gone for so long, could someone really be lost in a forest behind their house for over a month.

"Your home now," she cried. "That's all that matters."

I waited. I expected some sort of fury and outrage to come from either of my parents. Yet I waited, and it never came.

Everyone finally decided to let me go and the hug was over.

"Way to scare the Hell out of us kid," my brother slapped my shoulder playfully. I forced a laugh.

"Yeah, scared the Hell out of me too," I admitted.

"Come on, everyone lets go inside, I'll get breakfast started." My mom brushed away a few tears and started inside.

When everyone settled inside the house the question that I had been waiting for came. Where the Hell had I been? I stuck to the made up story I reviewed last night. I was injured, lost and finally found my way home.

For an hour we sat together as a family. There was no yelling, no disappointment, and no blaming. They were all understanding and happy that I was alive. I apologized for making them come home early but they denied having a good time and were more than happy to be here with me. The phone started ringing and my mom started to get up.

"Hello?" she answered. She turned her attention to me. "Yes, just a second."

It was then that I remembered that Laura was supposed to call me. My mom held out the phone to me and I took it.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked. I knew no one else would be calling me. No one else knew I was alive.

"I'm fine," she replied. "I'm just keeping my promise. Bye."

"Wait," I tried to stop her but the dial tone appeared.

"Who was the Kev?" my family watched me. I had forgotten that I had one more story to make up. They were now short a horse.

"Laura. When I was coming home last night I found her unconscious in the woods. She took a spill from her horse and I couldn't catch him." I would have to tell Laura about the story to keep everything similar.

"She must be crushed," my dad bowed his head. "This is the second horse she has lost."

I only nodded. I planned to head over to her house later to make sure her dad was behaving. If I end up finding a single fresh bruise, I might just kill him. Just like I killed Rick.


End file.
